Pill By Pill {Muke}

11 - Can You Say No

Loneliness is my least favorite thing about life. The thing that I'm most worried about is just being alone without anybody to care for or someone who will care for me. ~Anne Hathaway

Luke's POV

I was crying onto Michael's shoulder when I heard someone clear their throat behind me. I lifted my head up to see Kody and let out a girlish scream.

"Hi Luke." Kody smiled slightly at me. His hands were held deep into his pockets, his hair was every which way, and there were bags under his eyes. In short, he did not look like the Kody that I always knew.

"H-Hi.." I said quietly. I looked at him, wanted to jump up and run to him. Wanted to feel like he loved me, because I believed that he did, even when he did not.

"Can we talk?" Kody asked, I could feel my hands shaking and Michael put a hand on my arm and pulled on me. Shaking his head I shook him off and walked towards Kody. I nodded my head and swallowed hard as we took a few steps away from Michael.

"What are you doing?" Kody asked, his eyes gesturing over to Michael. I explained to him what had happened, that I was listening in on Michael and Ashton's conversation and in the midst of events had started crying. Kody looked at me with a complete and utter sadness. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and just wish he could say that he cared.

"Um.." Kody nervously rubbed the back of his neck. I waited patiently for him to say something - anything. "I'm sorry."

I bit down on my lip, even though I wanted to hear Kody say something, I could never think that an apology would feel so sour. But as I looked at Kody, I knew he was a cast out at this point. I was the only person - the only connection - which would make him happy again. Get his friends back, his life back. Get me back.

"Do you actually mean that, or do you just want something?" I asked. Kody's eyes went wide.

"No.." Kody said quietly. "No of course I don't want something. I mean that." Kody paused. "I guess I do want one thing."

"What is it?"

"I want you back." Kody said.

"You know that Cher also wants her boyfriend back?" I asked, raising an eyebrow in question. Kody rolled his eyes.

"You weren't my boyfriend to begin with." Kody said.

"Yeah I know, it's a fact that's followed me around." I sighed. "I mean, can you believe how degrading it is to have to say 'oh no he's not my boyfriend, I'm just not allowed to see anyone else because he said so.'"

"I know." Kody sighed, running a hand through his dark hair. "I'm just asking if you can hear me out.."

I let out a sigh and ran my hand through my own hair. "Alright, yeah sure. I can listen."

"Thank you." Kody sighed.

"Don't thank me yet," I said. "You still have not gotten anywhere's in my book."

"Are you mad about what happened?" Kody asked.

I would have said yes, but honestly I was not mad at all about it. For starters I did not even remember anything happening. It was just a mix of what was told to me, nothing more nothing less.

"I don't remember anything happening." I said and it seemed as if there was a gleam of light to Kody's face. "I have a very faint idea of what happened though." I paused for a moment. "I am not mad at all."

"Then why are you acting so bitter?" Kody whined and I felt his hands snake around my waist but I simply kept my arms folded.

"You don't care." I said, my voice was beginning to choke.

"What do you mean I don't care?" Kody asked.

"You don't care about me, even though I-I care about you." I said. "I shouldn't, but I do. It has been the biggest mistake I have ever made." This is where Kody's face turned grave.

"Luke, I care." Kody said.

"You certainly don't act like it." I muttered, looking off to the side. I now knew the concept of not looking at someone in order to avoid guilt. I had never seen Kody so distraught, it was almost a sickening state. It was..Unnatural, and was very uncomfortable.

"Well..Let me try." Kody said. "Look, I'll even do it just how you want it to be!"

"Kody.." I sighed, pushing his arms down and taking a step back.

"No just listen!" Kody pleaded. He was practically begging for me, and I had to give him the chance to prove himself. "We can be a couple and we can do all the cute couple things. I won't be mean anymore. You can talk to whoever you want, you can talk to Michael. I don't care. I don't care who you talk to, but then we can-can..Well you can actually be my boyfriend and we can be happy! I won't be mean anymore, I swear! We'll do things however you want them to be done. If you want whatever, I'm down."

I had to admit to myself the idea itself was rather..Charming. I cared about Kody a great deal, and the concept of him begging clearly showed where he stood. He looked as if he wanted to change everything, just for me.

Is that not what this is all about?

"You have to let me think." I said quietly.

"Okay, okay yeah." Kody nodded his head frantically. "Yeah that's one-hundred percent fair. Yeah. I can just wait until you tell me, you don't have to do so at any certain time. Just whenever you have a decision." Kody flashed a smile. "That sounds good, right? And you can just tell me whatever you want of me!"

"Alright Kody." I said.

"Anything like right now?" Kody asked.

"Stop acting like that, right now. It's weird." I sighed. "Don't fall to your knees for me."

"I'm standing?"

"Figure of speech."

"Luke," Kody sighed. "You have to see, that I am totally willing to do whatever I can for you. You have to know that. I do care about you."

"Alright." I smiled. "Now, can you just.."

"Right, right." Kody nodded. He smiled at me. "Bye Luke."

Kody left me to my own thoughts, it seemed as if he was losing his mind without me, that had to show proof that he cared enough, right?

"Dammit.." I heard Michael say behind me. "You're considering go back with a monster.."

AUTHOR'S NOTIFICATION; Lucy

Guys I am so tired you have no idea. I am one-hundred percent exhausted. I don't get home until around ten-eleven every night because I am totally try-harding to put together this thing to help out one of my friends. Ariana should update though considering she is just SITTING AT HOME. Lol, I love her but get on ze ball.

Anyways I can't really focus on ANYTHING right now.

Hugs, Kisses, Cuddles and Serenades xX