Pretty Boy

There Was Happiness Because Of You

Hogan:

My mind was in utter complicity when we left. I already drove Heath off to his house and tried to go to Serge again, hoping that he was there. His mom was the only one who greeted me as I tried to thread my way to his room. It was still locked. I didn't bother asking if he was there or not because I believe it's best to give him some space right now. I just hope that he's fine and that I can try to explain myself to him, though I can't at the moment. Now, I'm just alone in my room, not knowing what to do and curled up in my bed.

I've also put my phone on silent so their messages would just be blocked out. It's hopeless to think that it'll all be fine even though I want nothing more right now but to feel full again. I just need time to adjust and definitely a lot of time before I go to school again. I can't bear to hear their words right now and how they'll gossip about it for weeks. I think I could probably shut it down if the video is already deleted and deal with it on my own terms. My main focus for now is just to clear up my relationship with Serge. He feels done, which I hate, and I couldn't help but cry with the thought that he won't be able to handle what's more to come. I doubt we'll even be friends if we break up, which will lead us to just forget all the things we've been through together. I just want nothing more than to hold him right now and reassure him that it'll only get better.

My body feels weak and my mind is in pure disbelief of what's happening. Yet, I still try to distract myself from everything going on around me.

I reach for my nightstand and take a notebook and pen from it to start my drawing.

I've been working on a new set of sketches ever since that fight between Serge and Yuri. It was only yesterday, yet I didn't waste any time other than to make another drawing for him. I know how disappointed he looked when Yuri tore it apart, even though I had already told him it was fine. I could easily work on a new one for him and I wouldn't second guess if he ever asked me again.

The pen moves with the brisk of its tip, lining into curves, and I try to picture Serge's face in my head. His face is already carved in my mind, which is why I know how he looks all too well. Those pale eyes of his that always make me go into hypnosis whenever I stare at them. His lined jaw that cuts through my lips whenever I run my kiss over it, and his pretty boy face that gets me head over heels for him. Every thought I have is of him, and every inch of my inspiration comes from his presence.

I picture the details on his face while still trying to manage my focus. The lines, the premises, and his smile. My heart melts into happiness whenever I think of him as I continue and finish my sketch.

It only took me twenty minutes to finish one uncolored picture of him, and then I immediately proceeded to the next. This time, I took my phone out, not bothering to look at the texts, and I opened my photos. Even my gallery is full of him, which I can't even complain about since I've never taken that many pictures of myself. It's also divided into albums with different descriptions. I laugh at the names of each album as my finger grazes on the section of his body.

They're not really nudes of him but mostly just pictures of his lined upper parts. His body is not that muscular and his physique seems thin. However, you can clearly see the lines of his soft abs. It's clean yet bruised, and the sexiness of his frame sends my mouth to instantly water. I could only remember the way my lips move across his muscles and how easily it is to be lost in the taste of him.

My hands move while I take in the state of his body and try to sketch his fine build.

It'll definitely take me minutes before I finish working on the drawings of him, yet I can't really bring myself to stop since it's the only thing that's keeping me sane right now and the only way I can keep my hope of being with him. His ghost has possessed my body to the point that I can't even let it out. His mouth is encrypted in my skin, and his face haunts me every night. I don't ever want to take love for him for granted because now, it's truly clear to me how much he's worth.