Pretty Boy

Maybe.....This Is Wishful Thinking?

Hogan:

Even though it's already been three days since my last encounter with Serge, my mind still wanders in every single minute of our argument.
Everything just keeps repeating itself over and over in my brain, that I can't even figure out how to feel at this point.

Thoughts about how his expressions waver in my sight, just keeps sending sharp wounds streaming endlessly within me and bruises in our friendship.
Even if I try, there's no way I'll ever forget all the things he shots fired against me.

Christ. Why does it even bother me so much? Are we still even friends after that? And most evidently, why can't I just accept that we're not the same anymore?

Maybe I'm just too damaged at the moment since he's my best friend. Maybe....it's because I don't want to feel distant from him. Or probably since I don't want him to see me differently.
That's probably it. I don't want our friendship to be gone, and I don't want any history of us to be blown away in the winds. Even if it takes everything in me to get him back, I'll try to take it.

Every time we're together, I get to see more glimpse of what he is in my life, which makes me like him even more. His smirks, his laughs, and smiles are just enough for me to feel butterflies whenever I'm the one giving them to him. Even when we fight, there's no way we won't resolve any of it.

But then again, why was it that the last time I tried to talk to him, it felt like our friendship was at a definite end and the film of having him just became a tragedy?

Still in the midst of my thoughts, I try to bring my consciousness back as a ring from our doorbell hits my ears.

There's a part of me that wishes Serge is the one making that noise, but at the same time, I know it's unlikely to happen.

Getting out of bed, I head downstairs and stop inches away from the door. Even with just hearing the bell ring multiple times, I easily know it's Bre.
I didn't even bother greeting her. Yet, as I open the door, she welcomes me with a kiss on the cheek and a tight hug.

"Hey, Hoggs" Bre says.

Even with her usual charm, it didn't stop my mood from already faltering. Because God. Why does she even have to call me Hoggs?

I just stay in my position and try to form a reply as Bre insistently continues to make her way inside, taking my hand as she drags me through the hall.

Seconds after getting to my room, she closes the door and clashes her mouth with mine. I just try my best to feel comfortable with her sudden kiss as words battle their way to escape my mouth.
My mind can't even comprehend what's going on since her hand is already wandering around my body.

Feeling the need to grasp for air, I pull away from her and try to step away.

I obviously didn't plan for us to have a literal make-up session when I called her this afternoon. In fact, it was actually the opposite. I've been thinking of a way to break up with her for a while now, and that's definitely not going to happen if I'm tongue-deep inside her mouth.

With confusion written all over her features, Bre speaks up and stares me right in the eye. "Hoggs? What's up? Feeling a little ill?" Bre asks.

I'm not really, but I'll totally take that as an excuse rather than explain to her what I'm feeling. "Yeah, I kind of am." I say, trying to act like I'm not feeling well.
"Can we just....sit on the bed for a minute? I really need to rest" I continue.
I doubt she'll believe me, but I guess, I'll try to make her calm first.

She just stays in her position and crosses her arms, looking at me with so much questions. "I thought you wanted to talk to me about something." She says, arching one of her brows at me.