Pretty Boy

Don't Know How Long It's Going To Take To Feel Okay

Serge:

Lost in the pure bliss of euphoria, pleasuring my high state, I inhale once more as white substance starts filling my nose. 
With the sense of crushed pieces finding it's way to the depths of my voids, I prepare myself once more and savour its scent, as dashes of ecstasy starts cascading through my body.

Getting myself high at the moment is definitely the right choice. Not just for me to forget the argument that I had with my mom, but to also get my thoughts in check. It's been days. Yet, I'm still nowhere near capable of facing her once again. Her words are still engraved within me, and the memory of it all is something I truly want to ignore.

I know that she just wants me to get better, but at the same time, I wish she hadn't just approached me with it without even knowing how I feel. Certainly not, in the midst of my lowest.

God. Why did she even have to do that?

I really want her to feel guilty for ever bringing the idea of therapy up and make her think of what she just said. But I can't. Especially since I could understand her for not knowing what else to do, because right now. I have no clue either.

Damn. That is a really fucked up thing to think, and I should stop feeling so done with myself. But at the moment, I just don't know what I could do or when I'm going to feel okay again because I'm pretty certain that I'm still far away from it.

Finally, satisfied from its bliss, I flush the remaining drug down the toilet and compose my self once more. As I settle to leave, I stand from where I was seated but then stop in my tracks, as loud laughs started gleaming from outside the stall.

"Have you heard about the new gossip?" I hear one of the guys ask.

I'm not really that nosy about our town's news, and when I'm stuck in situations like this, I just wait for them to leave.

"Yeah, about Hogan? That shit was funny as heck." The other guy answers.

"Shit" I mutter to myself while trying to think of what happened to him. I haven't really seen him since our last argument and I try my best to avoid him at all cost, even with big gossips like this.

Putting my ear next to the door, I try to listen closely to what they're going to say and wait for them to continue.
Funny how one mention of his name makes me suddenly interested in their conversation.

"Dude. Try to feel bad for the guy. Just imagine your girlfriend breaking down in the middle of the park, I'd be embarrassed too." The guy says, trying to keep a serious tone, but bursts into laughter seconds later.

I'm still caught up on what they're saying and what Bre did for this to be a massive gossip.

"I mean....It is his fault for breaking up with her, even though he knows she's fucked up." The other guy answers once again.

Wait, what? Hogan and Bre broke up? I mean....It's not like I didn't expect it, but at the same time, what the fuck?

Trying to settle from what I just heard, I to step away from the door but then slips as I try to do so. My mind is still trying to comprehend their words and how publicly it would have been, for their break up to be talked about.

"Bro, did you hear that?" The guy asks.

Damn it. Now I have to be stealthy. for them to not know I've been listening to their conversation. I could try to hide with quietness and just let them pass. But my mind tells me not to, and I decide to leave the stall while trying to act as normal as possible.

Heading out, I was welcomed by the sight of two boys from my English class, whom I think I had already forgotten the names of, and meet their eyes.

"Damn. Serge are you okay?" The blonde guy asks.