Pretty Boy

Wait There In The Pouring Rain

Hogan:

Silently laying in my bed while I stare at the plainly constructed ceiling, I wait for time to pass by and leave my thoughts wandering into oblivion.

I haven't been hanging out with Serge for the past three days since he's been with Heath most of the time. He didn't even try to tell me what suddenly changed his mind and why he just left me at the bumper car ride alone and confused. Heath and he are friends. I know that. Yet I can't really feel that comfortable with them being together when I now know what they could be possibly doing. 

Why did he even want to hang out with him that much? It's not like they have anything better to do these last few days. I'm also pretty sure that it's not because of me since I know that he definitely wants to be with me instead of him. So why? 

I'm probably just being jealous because of their history and because he chose to be with him rather than me. But why wouldn't I? It was supposed to be me and him, yet Heath suddenly came along and tried to take him.

Damn it. That's really toxic to think about, but then again, it's not like I'm not already intoxicated with all the thoughts I'm having about him.

However, I really want to know what happened when we were playing at the theme park, because one minute he seemed happy, then the second, he suddenly switches up and tells me he has to leave. 

Isn't that just confusing?

He didn't entirely tell me why he had to; he just said that Heath had already left and that he had chatted for him to come over. Though it seemed urgent, my expression immediately went from being happy to completely dull when I heard his words, and I couldn't help but feel disappointed about it.

I know that he probably felt guilty that we left Heath for a while, but damn it. Did he really have to spend the next few days with him just because he felt sorry?

God. Now I'm just messed up, especially with the fact that he kind of picked Heath over me.

I'm usually fine with him giving excuses for us to not hang out, yet I can't seem to stop myself from craving his company for the past few weeks. Everything just felt more real whenever I'm with him, and I couldn't help but search for his touch when he's not near.

I probably sound like a clingy little bitch from what I'm saying, yet I couldn't think of any other way to describe what I'm feeling. It just feels dark when I'm not in his company.

Who knew not hanging out with your gay best friend could make you emo? 

And it's getting harder for me to stay away from him every now and then since he came back to me. And trying to picture him subtly whenever I jack off is definitely not helping either.

Yeah, Apparently, my dick felt so keen on fantasizing about him recently that I couldn't stop but crave all of it with him. Damn it.

I'm probably already over-thinking too much and getting too stressed, so I instantly stop my mind from making too much of a deal out of it and hesitantly place my body in a sitting position.

I don't really have that much to do in bed right now, yet I truly need to find myself a distraction to forget about Serge.

It's raining, so I'll probably just stay indoors. Or I could also just let myself brawl with the bliss of the rain. Yeah, I would love that.

It's probably just a dramatic move to make, yet it's not something I don't normally do. I love engulfing myself with the cascading waters of rain, since I usually get to express my feelings freely.

I get to feel happiness whenever I do so, and though people would think of it as weird, I think it is kind of heart-warming.

Serge, on the other hand, doesn't like it as much as I do. He doesn't even like the feeling of rain water dripping off of him, which I get since it's not something he's used to, yet it's something I want him to feel.