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I hate this feeling. Torn between my guilt and pride.
Guilty kase sinusuyo naman ako lagi ni Huey. Kahit di ko siya kinakausap o pinapansin, di siya humihiwalay sa akin.
I miss him too. Pero ma pride ako. The fact is, he still lied to me. He kept on explaining, pero ni isa sa sagot niya di naman yun ang gusto kong marinig. I still feel that meron siyang hindi sinasabi sa akin.
Bakit naman kase kailangan pang magsinungaling. Is it easier to comfort someone with a lie? Is it easier to make someone believe in a lie para lang hindi magisip ng masama? But is it the same thing? Now that I found out he lied, mas napaisip tuloy ako ng masama. Mas dumoble pa ang pagiisip ko.
If he just told the truth, edi sana we won't be in this situation right now.
Affected parin ba siya sa ex niya kaya hindi siya nagsabi ng totoo? Nag ooverthink lang ba ako? Ako ba yung mali? OA lang ba ako sa reaction ko?
May dahilan naman kung bakit ako galit. May karapan naman ako magalit diba?
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I stared at the paper for a few seconds.
Pero bigla kong naalala, may isa pa palang dahilan kung bakit ako galit. He didn't attend his afternoon classes nung Monday.
He wasn't with me. So, where was he? Sasabihin niya kaya sakin na di siya pumasok? Or I would just have to tell him that myself?
This is stressing me out again.
Napahilot ako ng ulo ko.
HUEY'S POV
Nasa gate ako, naghihintay kay Alara. She doesn't know na andito ako.
I'm hoping that she'll talk to me this time.
I know her class schedule and knowing her, ganitong oras siya pumapasok.
Nasa kabilang kalsada palang siya patawid, waiting for cross sign to turn green, nagkatinginan na agad kami.
Nginitian ko siya. But she just stared blankly at me.
Sinalubong ko siya nung marating niya na ang gate.
"Good Morning Love.." i smiled and kissed her on the cheek. "Did you have breakfast?"
"Nagmamadali kasi ako.."
Atlast, she answered!
"Tara breakfast tayo?" I glanced on my wrist watch. "We still have time.. mabilis lang."
"Wag na.." pilit niyang ngiti. "Need ko din kase magearly, di pa kase ako tapos sa outputs ko. Nakatulog ako kagabi."
"Sige na? Please?" Nagpaawa ako na parang bata. "Please?"
She was left with no choice kundi ang sumama.
Pinaupo ko sa while I ordered the food.
"Here Laralove.." i handed the plate to her smiling.
"Thanks" mahinang sagot niya ang immediately started eating.
Mabilis akong umupo dahil nagsimula na siyang kumain. Hinahabol ko ang bawat pagsubo niya. It's like she wasn't even chewing her food.
"Love.." pagtawag ko. "Slow down.."
"I don't have time for this Huey. I have far more important things to do."
Napabitaw ako sa hawak ko. Biglang bumagsak ang balikat ko sa sinabi niya.
Natigilan naman siya na parang siya din ay nabigla sa sinabi niya.
"Sorry." Nagbaba siya ng tingin. "That's not what I meant.. Madami kase akong gagawin and kailangan ko humabol because I haven't done much these past few days kase—." Natigilan siya at malalim na bumuntong hininga. She frustratingly took a deep breath.
"I'm sorry.." dagdag niya. "I just don't know what to feel or how to act whenever nasa harapan kita. As long di nasasagot ang mga tanong ko, I can't act normal infront of you." Pagpapakatotoo niya.
We both became silent. Pareho kaming nakababa nalang ng tingin, parang naghihintayan pa kung sino ang mauunang magsalita ulit.
"Alright." I broke the silence. "We'll talk later after our classes."
Nasa klase ako pero ang isip ko kung saan saan na nakarating.
Kung siya nagiisip kung bakit ako nagkaganun, ako din naman di ko alam kung bakit.
Nabigla ako to see her, I admit. It was the first time I saw her again and it was 9 months ago.
In an instant, she managed to get into my head again and that did an effect on me. I can't recognize the feeling.. parang part of me wanted to talk to her but mostly, I wanted to ignore her.
