Here, Under the Stars

CHAPTER 27

Gusto kong mapagisa.

I was just laying on my bed as tears streamed down my face.

Bakit ba sobrang hirap abutin ng kaligayahan ko? Hindi pa ba sapat yung four years? I've been alone and hurting for four years. Lahat ng 'yon tiniis ko but why do I feel like the universe is still punishing me for something I didn't do?

Don't I deserve to be happy? Bakit una pa lang, ang lupit na sa'kin ng mundo? They took away my dad, my mom, Ashi, and now, Solace? Nakakapagod na!

I heard a knock on the door. It was Ashi. But not even her could make me stand up from my bed. Later on, I heard Riley.

"Mags, open the door. Can we talk?" Riley countinued knocking.

I stood up and unlocked the door. I waited for Riley to enter before I closed it again.

"What happened? Why are the girls telling me na hindi na raw tuloy yung concert?" She asked worriedly.

"Apparently, I am not that famous." I started to chuckle bitterly. "A bigger band was more deserving of the opportunity instead of me."

"Okay lang 'yan, Magui. When a door closes, a window opens. Hindi lang naman 'yon ang nagiisang project sa mundo." She gave me her optimistic smile. Si Riley ang palaging nagpapalakas sa loob namin Lia.

"Pero sayang yung kikitain doon. Hindi ganun kalaki ang kinikita ko sa araw-araw." I reasoned out.

"And so? Maiipon rin naman natin 'yon eventually. Matatagalan lang but we'll still get there!" Riley continued to comfort me. "Besides, your friends with 12AM. You can collaborate together and earn more money. Maraming opportunities, Mags. Don't shut your door."

Riley is right.

Hindi naman kawalan ang isang solo concert.

Marami pa kong pwedeng gawin.

The following day, I went to the studio to start writing a song. Since I don't have a concert anymore, maybe releasing a new single can earn me something. But no matter how hard I try, no words are coming out from my mind.

"Hi Magui," Ashi sat beside me. "I'm sorry about what happened."

"Okay lang 'yon." I smiled at her. "Marami pang opportunities." I told her what Riley told me.

For some reason, Riley's words were comforting. It inspired me to keep on going despite losing a big opportunity.

"No, Magui." She looked worried. "I'm really sorry for everything. Beleieve me, hindi ko ginusto lahat ng nangyayari sa'yo but I promise to make it up to you."

"Honestly, Ash, when I saw you in that court, I couldn't feel anything but anger towards you. When I faced my people and told them to look for new jobs, I can't stop cursing you in my head. And when I saw my colorful walls become dark and empty, I couldn't stop blaming you." I looked at her, trying my best not to cry again.

It's time to talk about these things. Ever since we reconciled, we acted as if we weren't hurting. We escaped reality but now we have to face it.

"Then why did you chose to forgive me? Why did you chose to escape reality with me? Why did you stay for me?" She asked me questions that are too hard to answer. But I have an answer now.

"Because I love you, Ashi. My only plan is to reconcile with you guys and explain the truth but one thing lead to another. When we were left together at the house and you told me not to leave you again without a word, all my anger towards you suddenly hid away. When Alya slapped you, all I can think about is protecting you. When you took me to Elyu and kissed me on the lips, I didn't want to return to reality anymore. Ginusto kong kalimutan lahat and just spend the rest of my life with you." I continued explaining. I saw tears in Ashi's eyes.