TIME AFTER TIME ; jjk

31

I laughed at the way he sounded tense about it. "I know what a date is, Jungkook. You want to go out with me?"

Jungkook brought his eyes back on me. "Only if you'd like to. I can't demand anything of you."

"Hm, okay. I'll check when I'm free, but I can't guarantee you that I'd give you all of my attention, since lately, you know, I've been getting work calls even at crack ass of dawn. It's crazy."

He waved a hand. "Well, yeah, no problem at all! Me, too... Just let me know when so I can see if our available times match... Do you want to review together?" he proposed.

"I'd like that, but I don't really study well when I'm with someone. I'm sorry."

"I understand."

"And your handsome face if going to distract me, mind you, sir."

Jungkook let out a laugh and I always found it adorable that he seemed embarrassed when I praised him. "That's rich coming from you... Anyway, if you happen to be free this Sunday, I can't go on a date. I have to attend a colleague's wedding."

"Oh, wow. Do you like weddings?"

Jungkook shook his head while we were heading towards the outdoor garden connected to the hospital. "Not fond of them. I'm not supposed to."

As soon as he got ahold of the glass door handle, he pushed it forward and let me come out into the open green landscape first before he followed behind me. Cold late November breeze whipped at our faces as I rubbed my clothed arm. Wintertime was approaching to nestle in. "Right." I walked to a bench and sat down, crossing my leg over the other, watching Jungkook occupy the space next to me. He took a sip of his coffee. From the other side of the green spaces we could see a nurse talking on the phone while zoning out at the plants.

Jungkook said, "I usually get bored, you know. I find myself checking the time, and I get invited a lot to these events. I didn't have the heart to decline and only send gifts, though."

I smiled a little. "I think weddings are great."

"That's nice. I just... I don't like them."

"What if you get married one day? Of course you're gonna have to be in it!"

"Well, marriage..." He hesitated.

"What?"

"I don't know how to explain it. You may get the wrong idea and think it's stupid."

"What are you saying? I don't care how stupid it may sound."

"Okay, it's— like, look," his body turned a bit to me as he began to explain, his elbow placed on the top of the wooden backrest, "it seems like some sort of an official seal, you get it? To establish a sense of security for the relationship, a proof that there's a stable connection between whatever you have, but some are not even in love with each other, yet choose to get married, and people would think, yeah, they're serious about each other. Marriage makes us think that it's a couple's finality, that with it, then it's certain they're meant for each other even when it's done on a whim, or for such a dumb reason, without a strong foundation, you know?"

I arched my brows. "You don't believe in marriage?"

"Of course, I do. I do. I just think it's not everything for a couple, because if you truly love each other, with or without marriage, you can be together for as long as you want. You don't need marriage to strengthen whatever kind of relationship there is. If you truly understand and trust one another, you don't need something breakable, intangible thing to make you believe you're going to last— I'm sorry, I'm rambling."