summertime sadness

teenagers.

[Jeon Jungkook]

When your life suddenly changes
in a blink of an eye, you're stuck with just
peering at the broken you. Looking at
the glass shards littered on the wooden
floorboards. Your reflection is contorted,
you're not yourself anymore. No one is the
same anymore. Not your family, lifestyle,
and even the way you wake up every sunrise changes.

Why? Why is the question that repeats in
your mind. Different interpretations each
time. But you just never seem to find an
answer. And no one seems to want to give
you an explanation. You're at a standstill,
making up the best motives and incentives,
just so you can move on with your life
without being some miserable loner.

Of course, change it brings its burdens.
Trust issues. Being afraid of commitment. Overthinking constantly. Never allowing
yourself to fall in love again.

Jungkook vowed to himself to keep a guard
up and protect his fragile heart. He never
wanted to be a person who rebounded and
slept aimlessly with others unless it was in
moment of lust and desire.

True, after some time, things get easier.
You move on but you never forget. It's always
lingering in the back of your mind. And this
little voice keeps you from living your life.
Trapped inside your own little bubble. Where
it thinks you and your heart will be safe.

While it appears that everyone forgot, or
simply doesn't care anymore. Jungkook
never forgot. It haunts him. The nightmares
and the countless nights that it replays in his
head like a broke cassette player.

Six years ago seemed like yesterday to him.
Being sixteen and carefree. Him being a
promising soccer player and his dreams
of becoming a world-class chef got even
closer as he got a job working in a kitchen.

Even if it was just washing dishing and
waiting tables some time. It was better
than nothing. Getting to see how the kitchen
worked in action, busy nights, seeing
families and customers being pleased with
their food made Jungkook knows where he
wanted to be.

Life seemed promising. And he was full of
life and curious about so much, about love,
life outside of the countryside of Busan.

Until that night, the night everything went
to shit.

[Six years ago]

          "Shut the door, Jungkook-ah."
Yujun tells him, the boy happily hops on
Jungkook's bed, belly flopping down on it.
Shutting the door, he watched with a slight
smile on his face. "Excited for tomorrow,
I see." he commented on his friends
obviously hyper actions.

The boy never failed to bring a bright grin
on face, even on the worst days. Yujun was
his fair ground. He couldn't thank him
enough for being in life.

"Excited is not the word, Kook. Turning
seventeen is so scary but I just can't wait."
Yujun rolls on his side, propping his head
on hand. He pats the bed in front of him,
Jungkook felt a bit nervous today, more
than normal.

He sits on Yujun's bed, getting in the same
position as him. Meeting him eye to eye.
"Can't wait to leave me, huh?" He lets out
a little chuckle. "Pfft. What? No matter how
old I get I doubt I'll never leave you, Kook.
You know this." Jun looks into his eyes,
Jungkook struggled to keep his gaze on his
eyes, but he could feel them slowly lower
down to Yujun's lips. Like he was some type
of trance.