No words needed [L x Reader] • Death Note

Chapter 19 | love letters

He looked down at the now multiple pages of lovesick ramblings he'd written. Over the past month he'd been trying to get all his feelings and words out and found that writing them down can at least clear his mind for a while. But it was getting to the point where he was just so hung up on you he had to do something about it.

He'd managed to talk to you, he'd made progress. Now he had to try and communicate to you that he liked you... really liked you.

You'd been so patient with him, you were an excellent investigator, you were so nice to him, you were helpful and so pretty he could barely control his heart beat. He'd never ever met someone like you before. And if you were going to be working on this case with him and be together 24/7 he'd practically pass out if he didn't get those feelings out soon.

He'd never actually admitted feelings for someone before though. He'd never really had them since he never left the house much. Not to mention his mutism and lack of social etiquette making it hard to connect with people. He wasn't the best at understanding his own emotions too, but he knew this time.

He was in love.

His first proper love.

Although he was nervous as hell, it was clear you liked him in a friendly way, but he had no idea if you'd return his romantic feelings. He hoped you did, but he had no way of knowing what you'd say.

You were everything he wanted and more, and yet he had no idea what he was doing. For the first time the detective that knows everything didn't know what to do. This was one case he couldn't quite figure out, he wasn't amazing at emotions.

But he wanted to tell you. Even if you rejected him, just the fact he could get it off his chest and stay friends would be enough for him.

You were standing out on the hotels balcony, taking some pictures of the city to send back to your dads to update them on how your life was going. L loved how much you kept in touch with your family, it told him family was important to you. And even though his little family of a foster dad and successors aren't blood related they were important to him too.

Found family can be just as beautiful and important as biological family. Sometimes even more important.

L sat at the table that was a mess of work, just watching you out on the balcony taking pictures.

It took all his courage just to say two words to you, and even if he was a little more confident in talking to you now, he still wasn't really able to hold long conversations. So how did he explain all those feelings to you? He wanted to say it to you, but he knew he couldn't push himself too far. He didn't want to have another meltdown.

While he'd grown used to being partly mute, it pissed him off sometimes.

Gazing over at you, then down at the pile of work you still had to do, his strawberry pen sat in the pen cup and gave him an idea.

He might not be able to hold long conversations yet. But can can sure as hell write them.

Talking a page from his book, he ripped it out and grabbed his pen. He'd never written a love letter before, but he'd seen it in books and movies. Usually they were decorated with lipstick stains and perfume to smell nice. He didn't have any lipstick to kiss onto the letter and boring old deodorant definitely wasn't the same as a pretty perfume, but he could make do. He could draw something in the borders, or use the scented gel pens you had sticking out your pencil case.

After a moment of staring down at the paper, and glancing up at you ever so often, he began to craft his confession.

If he couldn't talk that much, he can express himself in other ways.