No words needed [L x Reader] • Death Note

Chapter 18 | emotioal draining

Tw/ L talks about a case he had to solve in the past that involves the deaths of children. Just a warning.

You'd just had the most draining interview ever. The parents of the first victim, who were still absolutely destroyed over the death of their child. You and L wanted to be sure the rosary was hers so you organised to interview the parents.

You'd done this many times before, and after so long as a detective you get used to the highly emotional situations the families are in. You learn to keep a straight face. But fuck, this one really drained you.

The second they saw the picture of the broken rosary, they started crying. That was all the confirmation you needed. They were sure it was their daughters, comparing it to photos of her wearing the same one when she was alive. You were right on your guess about her being from a religious family too. Her parents had raised her in it, and they were doing the best they could to find comfort in the situation by hoping she was in resting in paradise now she was gone. It was such a heartbreaking thing to witness, two broken parents desperate to have answers and hoping their daughter could hear their prayers.

You felt bad, you always did in these situations. Loosing a child to a murder is one of the worst pains images.

"Hey, I'm back. You heard everything from the mic?" You said, closing the hotel door behind you.

L nodded, still wearing the headphones he was using to listen in on your conversation with the parents. You took the wiretap off, put your bags down and flopped into the nearest chair.

"Man that was draining... so sad to see as well" you sighed.

L wrote something in his notebook and slid it across the table for you.

Dealing with distraught families is always the worst part.

"I know, you just feel so bad for them. I mean losing your only daughter to a crazed murderer? That's just awful" you replied, sliding the book back over the table.

You couldn't imagine what the other families felt like knowing their children were victims of a string of murders and the killer was still out there. To be a detective you kind of have to block out those thoughts so you can focus on your job, but after a while it gets draining.

"L" you spoke up.

He looked up at you.

"You're the worlds greatest detective, you've done tons more cases than me, what's the worst one you've ever had to solve?" You asked.

He thought for a moment, and began to write. You knew he'd probably seen worse than you, and solved harder than you as well, you were morbidly curious. He took a while to write the whole thing, ending up begging almost a whole page. You knew you were in for a hell of a story.

Sliding the book over to you, you picked it up to read.

In America, there was a string of kidnappings and later the bodies started showing up mutilated and assaulted. There were 19 victims, all under the age of 5. It was horrific, but it needed to be solved. I try and be careful with cases involving children for personal reasons, they kind of hit too close to home sometimes. But this one needed to be solved and the police were doing a bad job so I stepped in. Caught the guy, he was sick. So disgustingly sick. No remorse, no cares about being sentenced, nothing. He was deemed too dangerous to be put in a regular prison while waiting for trail so he was sent to maximum security. And when he went to trail he was sentenced to death.

When I tell you no one had any kind of sympathy for that man, I mean it. The whole courthouse wanted him sentenced to death for everything he did. Just looking at the crime scene photos made me feel nauseous it was so brutal. And knowing what those kids went through for days before finally dying made me want to break that man's spine with my bare hands.

By far the hardest case I've ever had to work on, it took a lot out of me but it had to be done. The thanks from the parents made it all worth it, even though I wasn't there face to face with them I could hear the relief in their voice when he was sentenced. Nothing can bring back their kids, or erase the knowledge of what happened to them, but at least now that monster is on death row they can move on as much as they can.

"Wow..." you muttered.

As you thought, he'd seen worse cases than you. You specialised in a certain area so you did see a lot of horrific cases, but nothing as bad as that. L took on any and all cases, so he was bound to have cases this bad pop up here and there. And the part about 'personal reasons' made you connect a few dots in your mind.

If cases involving children hit too close to home for him... maybe that's had something to do with why he couldn't talk much. You wouldn't push for answers, that was his trauma not yours. But it did make you a little curious, in a worried kind of way.

"I don't know how you even survived that. I would have quit and needed therapy seeing something that horrific" you said, handing him his book back.

"It had to be done, those kids needed justice" he replied, managing to get those few words out.

He was right, as brutal as those cases were they had to be done. And as horrible as this case was, it also had to be done. 8 families have lost their child, sibling, best friend. 8 families were mourning that loss. 8 families needed justice.

"It's part of the job I guess. But getting that justice at the end and helping the families heal makes it worth it" you said.

L nodded in agreement. Part of the reason he was a detective in the first place was to stop people from having to suffer like he had once. Just being able to get justice made all the pain of the cases with it.

"Well we have solid evidence now. At least that much came from that draining experience. We can start to think about questioning now" you sighed.

L picked up his pen again, scribbling down a response.

We can figure out search and arrest warrants as well now.

You both had a lot of work ahead of you, but this wild case has made you both feel a lot closer. You both understood the urge for justice and the emotional toll the job could have on you. It was like the two of you were on the same wavelength. That why you've grown to like L so much, he just... got it. He knew, he understood. And even if he was still not great at talking he was able to communicate really well with writing and body language, you'd never gotten lost in translation with him.

He noticed your drained domineer, tired and saddened by the emotional toll these cases could have. Understanding that feeling, he wanted to do something to make you feel better. But he wasn't great at that kind of thing...

There was one thing he could think of.

"(Y/n)" he said.

"Yeah?" You replied.

He gestured for you to come over, so you did and got up to move closer to him. To your surprise, you were pulled into a gentle hug, the first time he'd initiated a hug. You gladly wrapped your arms around him in return, appreciating the gesture. You both stood there for a while, just wrapped up in each others arms, letting yourselves forget everything.

"Thank you..." you smiled.

"Thank you for being patient with me..." he muttered back.

"Always L, I'll always wait as long as you need"