Yamanaka in Training

Chapter 9: A New Mindset

I had a look of shock on my face, I knew Ibiki said that he and Hayate trusted her but I had no idea."He would always tell me how you've been improving. Hayate trained me also, so he often told me stories of times you reminded him of me when I first began training under him." Yugao smiled as she thought of the memories with her lover.

"Hayate, he wanted to give you something for when you passed your exams. I know he would still want you to have it. The only thing is that it's over at his apartment. Would you like to join me for the walk? We could pick up food on the way there."

I was hesitant, I didn't know if I'd be able to handle it. But getting food sounded great and if Hayate wanted me to have whatever it is Yugao is talking about, then who am I to decline the offer. As we walked from the ANBU apartments over to the jonin apartments, we stopped at Ichiraku Ramen.

Once we got to Hayate's home I stopped right away as Yugao walked in. She looked lost in thought, she was grieving as well. She knew Hayate on another level and I couldn't imagine what she was feeling. The smell of Hayate was strong, it brought memories of training, being carried home, and mid-training naps since Hayate sometimes felt more tired than on other days. I walked in slowly and it was all surprisingly neat, Hayate was usually on the go so I expected it to be more of a mess.

"Yugao, do you want to start with ramen?" It was hard for her to be here I could tell, she probably has so many memories here. She faced me and smiled in agreement. We had our ramen and got to know each other more. Yugao likes moon watching and tries to train whenever she isn't on a mission.

After ramen Yugao went into Hayate's room and came out with a box. I was sitting on the couch when she sat next to me." This is it, I think he said he wanted you to open the note first before opening the box." she smiled and handed me the note.

'Hey Matsuki,

In the chance, I get assigned to a mission and can't be there when you pass your test because I know you will. I'm making this note. Throughout training you've shown determination and resilience, you have only given me reasons as to why you'll be a great kunoichi when you grow up. And I can't wait to see it happen. I know both me and Ibiki are proud of you for passing and we are both grateful to have you as a student as well as a part of our team. I believe a reward is called for being promoted to chunin. It's inside the box, I want you to train with this, make it an extension of yourself. It was a design I had planned to do on my katana but just never got to it so you'll be my guinea pig. I got it costumed made to fit your style, hope you like it. I know you'll master it in no time. Maybe you'll even be able to surpass me one day Suki.

-Hayate'

I was crying holding on to the paper. Hayate was supposed to be here, he was supposed to watch me pass, watch me grow, and correct me when I'm wrong. He was supposed to continue training me, napping outside of the Interrogation building against the wide tree in the back. It's not fair that he's gone already. I tried to hold everything in, I thought I had no more tears left to cry but I was greatly mistaken.

Yugao could tell, she saw my hurt just as I had seen hers. She hugged me and said "Matsuki sometimes as Kunochi we put so much pressure on ourselves to be strong like other shinobi. I want you to know it's okay to let it out with people you trust. It's okay to cry and Hayate will live on as we carry him in our hearts and in our memories."

We both hugged each other tight Yugao wasn't just telling me these things, she was reminding herself.

"Can I see the box?" I asked with watery eyes once I calmed down. I opened it and there were two tantos the blades themselves had a dark hew and had jade mineral handles.

"They are chakra tantos, when you insert chakra into the handle of your tantos the chakra will come out. Similar to Asuma's chakra blades. Hayate also got your staps for them, he knew how you like to keep your hair down so he thought straps that sit on your hips would be better." Yugao said.

Sniffling, I got up with the two tantos and felt the weight. They were light and easy to move around. I put on the hip straps as well.

"Congratulations on making it to chunin Matsuki I know Hayate is really proud of you. He wouldn't stop talking about it. Oh, I almost forgot he wanted to give you one more thing! Follow me." Yugao said.

I followed her into what seemed to be Hayate's room. Yugao searched into his drawers and pulled out one of his forehead protectors. "He said that he wanted you, Ibiki, and himself to match with bandana forehead protectors." she giggled at this. One of Hayate's silly ideas made me smile as well.

Yugao tied the forehead protector on me as I watched in the mirror.

"Yugao I'm really going to miss him." I started to feel the emotions come back. Hayate was a great sensei, he wanted to see me grow just as much as I wanted him to. Yugao hugged me as tears started to fall down my face. I was exhausted, sad, and overwhelmed with everything that has happened this past week. I think Yugao sensed this.

"How about we rest here tonight? I'm almost sure you didn't get any sleep last night either. Once tomorrow comes we will start to get back into training and become stronger for Hayate. What do you think?"

I agreed with her and Yugao handed me one of Hayate's shirts that clearly fit me like a dress. "I'll send word to Ibiki so he isn't worried," Yugao said.

We both slept in Hayate's bed. That night I had no nightmares, it was the perfect reset for the new mindset Yugao planted into my head. To keep getting stronger for Hayate.