Estateillio

The last Chapter

After not updating for a few weeks due to a total lack of motivation, I have decided to abandon this fic. I liked the idea of it at first, but now that I'm writing I just don't know anymore where to take it and what to do with it and it is a daunting task that I don't think I would be able to finish. It would just be a chore for me now and that would definitely reflect in my writing and I don't want that. Furthermore, I have (involuntarily) decided to take a break from the Tolkienverse and will (at least temporarily) turn towards a more lighthearted fandom, because I'm pretty sure by now that I have a light depression and I can't take all the angst right now that always accompanies fics of this fandom, even though they are meant to be funny (sometimes). But, since I hate it when I read a fic that is unfinished and abandoned, I will outline roughly where I wanted the story to go, so that I can make my peace with leaving this "unfinished".

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The fellowship travels to Amon Hen, rests there, discuss which exact routes are best when they'll head east, Frodo goes for a walk, Boromir yadda yadda... you know the story.
Estateillio gives Frodo some advice (and perhaps accidentally hints at her DID?) and then is off to save the others.
Frodo's and Sam's story then basically stays the same as it is in the books and movies (choose which you like best).
Merry and Pippin are still abducted and Boromir still takes the arrows to his chest, but Estateillio is like "nope", does her healing magic to detain the poison from the arrows, but because it's a new kind and Boromir's wounds are quite severe, she isn't able to do much and so she takes him to Lothlorien with the help of Tyelcalossë and Illumdil (who showed up at some point, because the wind told them to or something, idk), but she gives all her strength to a) stop the poison from spreading, b) make sure Boromir doesn't die and c) give the horses enough of her energy so that they don't have to stop until they've end reached Caras Galadhon, so she falls into a sort of trance.
Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli still hunt the Uruk-Hai, so there's little change until they reach Helms Deep.
Estateillio makes it to Lothlorien and, like, instantly collapses, but Boromir is fine, because Sívcelumë is nice and a healer and he recovers well.
Estateillio wakes up two days later and receives a letter from her dead fiancé, her dead cousin and her other cousin's wife via Gandalf (they talked to a Maia of Aulë who talked to a Maia of Ulmo who knew a Maia of Nienna who then talked to their lady if she could please help them sent a letter to this child who suffered so much (though no one knows about Nienna being involved) and so they smuggle a letter to Olorin while he recovers from his death and he then brings it to middle earth and leaves it in Lothlorien, because Galadriel already knows about Estateillio returning). It's basically them yelling at her for a bit for going on a suicide mission and telling her they love her anyways and to please come to Valinor once the war's over?
They also have an idea on how to make her stronger, but it's only in theory, because it involves separating the fëa from the hröa and that would mean instant death to everyone but Estateillio (because she has multiple fëar) and since her body would then no longer be affected by the mass amounts of energy her individual souls can channel it would allow her to do a lot of crazy magic that would have severely injured or even killed her otherwise. They test it, it works.
She then has a talk with Boromir about fate and war and little brothers they want to protect and she promises him to come to Osgiliath with him, because that's where Faramir is. They also talk about their parents and expectations and Estateillio reveals to him that she's the daughter of Haleth and thus explains why she was never able to turn her back to humans (because she's half human). Of course that leads to her explaining why she hates the easterlings, haradrim & co (Nirnaeth Arnoediad) and Boromir's like: "That was over 6000 years ago. If you can't be held accountable to the crimes of your father and your brothers (kinslaying), then they can't as well." (But he then agrees with her that the easterlings & co still need to go down, because they sided with Sauron).
Estateillio also talks with Aicanillë, because they formed a bond during the fight and the sword now adapted to the needs of its new bearer (Caranthir, in the end, needed someone to blame for all the bloodshed and also someone to encourage him to kinslay, so Aicanillë became this blood-thirsty being, but all Estateillio really needs is a friend and a companion who won't ever willingly leave her (Illumdil doesn't count, because he does tend to run off from time to time)).
Then they receive information about the upcoming battle of Helm's Deep and Estateillio and Boromir decide to join before going to Osgiliath. Illumdil is all noble-like and stuff when he decides to come, but Teylcalossë is just like: "Killing orcs? Haven't done that in a long time, count me in." And then she proceeds to basically adopt Boromir, because "that little human is so lost and has not a clue of how elves and their horses work and that's hilarious".
So they gear up and head to Helm's Deep and Estateillio rants about the stupidity and stubbornness of humans (they did not dig a ditch) for like 15 minutes and then digs said ditch in like ten minutes via magic, because she's not in hiding anymore and the large shockwaves of energy might even distract Sauron from Frodo and Sam.
The battle begins and the Uruk-Hai have a much harder time advancing (because of the ditch) and when they do reach the walls, Estateillio is like: "This is what it feels like to fight against an impenetrable fortress with fire as one of its defenses!" And proceeds to yeet fire at the enemy for like five minutes until she realizes that using fire when everything is wet from the rain isn't actually that useful. So they resume to teething arrows and rocks at the attackers who have no way to climb the walls now, because the ditch made the walls about twenty feet taller and the ladders are too short for that.
So the Uruk-Hai focus on entering the fortress via the front entrance, which they do eventually manage using the bomb. But they don't get far, because Estateillio is not stupid and awaits them behind the gate and so they don't make it very far, at least at first. Because there are still thousands of Uruk-Hai and not even a thousand defenders and Estateillio can't do much effective magic with people she doesn't want hurt around, they slowly get pushed back.
But they hold out a lot longer and then Gandalf appears and they crush the enemy forces between the riders of Eomer and Theoden and the survivors are killed by the trees.
They then prepare to part ways, because Boromir and Estateillio still plan on heading to Osgiliath, but the rest of the fellowship is heading for Isengard and Sívcelumë is yet unsure if she wishes to stay with the Rohirrim to tend to the wounded, return home or help search for Maglor, because with the threat of the Uruk-Hai and war now always looming over the horizon he is now in constant danger and they don't know what state he is in and don't want him to be killed (a similar search was launched at the end of the second age, but it had been unsuccessful). At this point Aicanillë reveals that she actually now's where the missing elf is, because it can sense Maglor's sword (he kept it as a reminder of his crimes and of his family, but willed its edges to become blunt, so that he could do no more harm). That settles the question. The sword sends out a signal of distress which they hope Maglor will follow and Sívcelumë heads out to where Aicanillë senses Maglor's sword.
Estateillio and Boromir travel to Osgiliath, as planned, but stop at Minas Tirith to bring word of the victory of the Rohirrim. But once they arrive it is revealed to them that everyone thought that Boromir was dead, because Aragorn & co did prep the boats as planned and used Boromir's split horn and so everyone thinks he died. They clear this up, but Denethor doesn't want his (favorite) son to go to Osgiliath, because he'll surely die there, but Boromir's like: "No, I'm going." And he and Estateillio end up sneaking out of the city.
At Osgiliath everyone is overjoyed to see Boromir alive and Estateillio takes one look at Faramir and decides that the two humans are now her brothers, because: "Bold, reckless and no sense of self-preservation, but also gentle and kind sometimes? That sounds a lot like Veryon." And then she gets fiercely protective (but not in an overwhelming way) and when the Nazgul show up, she drives them away with the same magic trick she used the last time when they pursued Arwen and helps them defend Osgiliath and it holds a whole lot longer, but in the end inevitably falls to the sheer numbers of the orcs.
When they retreat, it's a lot more organized and less hasty and they pick up Sívcelumë and Maglor along the way (her uncle doesn't want to face other elves yet and thus they decided to track Estateillio via sword magic and help her).
They all talk and explain stuff and Maglor remarks that the easterlings & co only fight with Sauron out of fear mostly (he's been to the south a lot, there are no elves there) and Estateillio is torn about it, because the easterlings have no way out due to the deeds of their ancestors during the Nirnaeth and that sounds awfully similar to how her father and uncles suffered under their father's legacy, and so they agree on a few things before she turns Illumdil around and rides straight into enemy territory.
She manages to convince the leaders of the easterlings & co that a) she won't harm them, b) her offer of peace is genuine, c) yes, if you turn from the war now we won't kill you afterwards and you have my protection as long as you need it to establish defenses against Sauron's forces and d) if they fight with her there'll be an agreement for peace, trade, influence, ... with Gondor and the elves (as agreed upon with the elven leaders via Osanwe and Boromir).
The leaders are surprised about this and sent her away without an answer, but also unharmed and hidden from Sauron's forces.
So she returns to Minas Tirith, rants about the stupidity of humans for twenty minutes straight (the white city has no ditch either) and proceeds to dig a ditch via magic in a cloak-an-dagger operation, digging deeper than in Helm's Deep and filling it with water (because she has the time to do so now, with the fight a few days away instead of an hour or so). The soldiers let her once they see the advantage. (Also, Denethor lit the beacons once his sons returned, Pippin still swears to Denethor, because he wants to be useful).
Maglor climbs the highest tower the same night (the tower of Ecthelion), finds and dismantles the Palantir there, shutting down the whole system , and then sings for three days straight to set up wards. Meanwhile Estateillio receives a message from the leaders of the easterlings & co, so she and Boromir (as the respective representatives of Imladris & Lothlorien and Gondor) leave Minas Tirith to meet with them and negotiate terms. They come to an agreement and proceed to plan for the upcoming battle.
Estateillio ends up staying with them, both as a gesture of good will and to act as an extra layer of protection, because once they do openly turn against the orcs, they will become their main focus and they cannot hide behind large walls like the soldiers of Minas Tirith.
The day of the battle arrives, the siege towers are rendered useless due to the ditch, so the orcs focus on the gates. The defenders are able to hold them for quite some time, but in the evening, when they get the battering ram, Estateillio has to intervene and strengthens the gates with magic from a distance while the easterlings & co prepare to march into battle the next day. At some point she realizes that the Rohirrim and Aragorn are coming and know nothing about the easterlings & co switching sides, so she appears to them as a specter and informs them.
The next morning she leaves the strengthening of the gates to Maglor and Sívcelumë and rides out with the easterlings & co. The orcs realize too late that they are being attacked by them, what with them preparing to face the Rohirrim on the other side of the battlefield, and Estateillio throws up a large magic shield to protect them from arrows and stuff and does a lot of incorporeal magic and they crush the forces of the orcs between them, the Gondorians, the Rohirrim and Aragorn & co. At one point, Eowyn kills the witch king, the only of the Nazgul to have shown up.
Aragorn agrees with Estateillio's peace treaty, they do a bit of clean-up, Maglor reactivates the Palantir and looks for Frodo and they decide to create a large distraction. So while "the humans" lure all orcs to the black gate and fight them there, Estateillio sneaks into Mordor via a hidden path, kills all stragglers and asks the winds for help. She then reanimates the dead earth of Mordor with her own (magic) blood and cleanses the lands with her white flames and then challenges Sauron.
They taunt each other a bit, but then fight a battle of magic and because Estateillio has the help of the elements the whole landscape of Mordor is changed. The battle reaches its peak when the Ring is destroyed and the discharge of energy (it's two beings on the power-level of a strong Maia fighting and using all their strength) is great enough to tear apart space itself. Weakened as he is, Sauron is easily pushed into the void through the tear by Estateillio, but he refuses to go down alone and drags the elf with him. The tear closes again, the war is won, they think that Estateillio simply died and bury her body and only later do they learn what truly transpired.
Meanwhile Estateillio either simply languishes in the void and evades Sauron and Morgoth or she is saved by some Ainu from the timeless halls and spends the time until the Dagor Dagorath in the presence of Eru, which is how she would become the most powerful elf. She might also find out about the fate of the second born and hang out with her mom and her brother (though the latter often leaves to be reborn). In the first version she would simply escape when the Doors of Night are opened and warn the others that Dagor Dagoratah is coming, in the second she might even be the one to initiate it, being handed the keys to the doors by Eru after the extinction of the human race, so that she as a being of all of the children of Eru (Elf and human by birth, Ainu by merit of having spent so much time in the presence of Eru) can bring forth much-needed and long-anticipated change.
Either way, Dagor Dagorath happens as per canon and a whole bunch of humans return to Arda Remade, because they never wanted to leave it, but had to do so due to their gift of mortality.

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I hope this made sense. I, again, deeply apologize for not truly finishing this fic.

May the stars shine upon your path.

Namarië!

AT

Edit: It's been some time now and I was thinking that maybe I might continue this story after all, though after rewriting what's already there and changing a few minor points (she wouldn't have the dream and get the letter, but El and co would appear to her with the help of Irmo while she's passed out on the way back to Lothlorien, changing things up with her trauma concerning El's death, more distinctions between her individual fëar, ...). If I were to do this, I'd write the whole story first, instead of just a broad outline, so it might take some time before you can read it.
Here's the beginning of the first chapter rewritten, to give you a taste:

The elves of Mirkwood were... strange, different. They held none of that gentle calm the Rivendell elves always exuded, that soft aura hiding great strength and lights shining in their eyes. No, the elves of Mirkwood were fierce and strong and nimble, warriors, but without that ethereal light and less tall.

Bilbo did not want to fathom what they might do to him, should they discover him, and so he hid, never straying from the corners and shadows, his ring always on his finger.

They had found him regardless.

He had been sneaking down into the dungeons, when one of the elves had passed him by, stopped, turned around and nailed him in place with a glare from milky-white, unseeing eyes and he had frozen, not daring to lift a finger, lest she hear him and alert the guards.

She was tall, even for one of the Big Folk, taller even, perhaps, than Lord Elrond, yet she held none of his calm demeanor and she was heavily armed. But she was not an elf of Mirkwood either, for there was a terrible light upon her and she had an air of power.

She was other. With honeyed skin, much darker than the pale white complexion of the other elves, and a once beautiful face marred by innumerable scars, a chunk of her hair missing where a fire had once melted skin on the left side of her face, and her ears pierced with small gems of many colours, small golden hoops and a large... tooth? claw? supporting her mangled left ear, no doubt for more reasons than aesthetics, she was different from all elves he had ever seen, her shoulders broad and muscles visible under her tight-fitted shirt, more in the manner of the few men Bilbo had encountered in his sheltered life.

"I know you are there", she said softly, her voice surprisingly deep and rhythmic, but also strained, as if she had just spent an hour screaming.

"I can hear your breath, the frantic beat of your heart."

A step forwards, Bilbo unfreezing and slowly trying to sneak away, to silence his breath, to calm his heart, but her gaze remained fixed on him, despite her obvious blindness.

"I can smell you, taste your fear in the air."

Another step.

"I can feel it, the shifting of the air as you draw breath and exhale, and move. The heat of your body. The Song of your Soul."

Another step, a tilted head.

"You cannot hide from me. No one can."

And then she blinked, calmed and her harsh edges softened and a kind smile graced her lips and now she would not seem out of place in Rivendell.

"But you do not need to, Master Baggins, for if that is who you are, know that I am here to aid you and your companions", she then spoke and Bilbo exhaled in relief and answered: "I am, indeed, Bilbo Baggins of the Shire, at your service."

"And I am Estateillio, the Wanderer, at your service as well", she introduced herself, "I am glad to have caught up with you at last. Word of the company of Thorin Oakenshield reached me rather late and I was far in the south at that time and I travelled fast to reach you in time, yet you were already gone when I arrived at Beorn's."

My questions now would be if you'd like to see such thing and if yes, what would you change? What were things you didn't like about the initial story? What would you like to see (especially flashback chapters)? I probably won't be able to include everything, seeing that I have ideas as well, but I'd still like to know your opinions.
Thank you!
AT