02

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⚠️⚠️ sh

Felix's pov

I sighed as I dragged the knife across my arm. The sensation running through my body as I felt the feeling many times before.

I hated how they looked, some dark, some faint lines were scattered all over my body.

At least my mom didn't notice, or maybe she didn't care to notice..

I was known as the 'screw up', the one that wasn't supposed to happen, the one that doesn't do anything right in everyone's eyes.

I mean my mom was almost jumping up and down when I finally found a place to stay, one of the scariest places to stay.

My brothers were always better than me. They had perfect bodies, perfect girlfriends and/or wifes, and had the perfect childhood. I barely talked to my brothers, but whenever I did, they wouldn't fail to tell me how worthless I am.

Now that I'm finally 18 and away from my family, I don't have to pretend to be happy all the time.

My brothers moved to LA and they all live next to each other, how cute.

I don't deserve to associate with them, I mean I'm barely related to them. One hookup, while my dad was on a business trip, created this mistake of a person.

I don't deserve to be here if no one wants me here, I hate myself, I want to k-

A door bell threw my thoughts immediately out of my head, I frantically looked at my bleeding arm and cleaned myself up quickly.

I hurried over to the door and wiped the tears that were still streaming down my face. I opened the door and was met with my new friend?

"Hey Felix!! Can I hang out with you today? My brother kicked me out of the car!" Han exaggerated his arms to make the situation sound more dramatic than it actually was.

I smiled lightly and let him inside. He noticed my mood and sat on the couch, he looked around and spotted the bathroom door open with the light on.

His eyes glanced at the ground, widening slowly. "Lix? Why is there blood on the floor?" My heart stopped. 'Fucking shit.. I forgot to clean the floor.'

"O-oh.. i- uh. I accidentally cut my finger while making lunch.. a-and I just forgot to clean it up." Han wandered his eyes to look at my arm, watching as blood started to slowly drip out of my arm.

We both looked to see the blood fall onto the ground. "I-I.." Han stood up and pulled me into a hug.

"It's ok lix. Just let it out." I sobbed softly onto Han's shoulder, gripping the back of his shirt.

Han pulled away and held my arm. He gently caressed the bleeding arm and looked up at me. "Can I take you to my place, one of my hyung's know how to bandage your arm."

I shook my head and pulled him away from me. "I-I'm fine! I don't feel like-"

He held my hand and gave me a pleading look. "Please lix. I want him to talk to you, maybe it can convince you to stop." He traced his hand over the lasting scars on my arm.

I shook my head again as tears rolled down my face. "Y-you don't care!! No one cares a-about me! I want to k-kill myself!!" I sobbed out, loosing myself into a headspace.

"Felix.." he cupped my face, noticing my dilated eyes. "Where are your keys?" I whimpered and pointed to the hanger next to the door.

Han took them and brought me to my car. He started driving fast, I whined and whimpered, not knowing where we are going. "It's ok baby, I'm just taking you to someone who knows what to do." He placed his hand on my thigh to calm me down, which worked as I fell asleep quickly.


No one's pov

"Sung, did you already kill him." Chan chuckled lightly as he saw the distress male carry Felix into his room.

"Chris!! I need help! I-i walked in on lix cutting h-himself and then I-i think he turned little.. a-and I don't know what to do!!" He exclaimed, his breath stuttered in fear.

"Ok ok, calm down sung. Go get Minho and come back." He reached for the unconscious and placed him on his bed. Han nodded quickly and ran to get his boyfriend.

They both came back. "Ok, stay here with him while I go get the kit." Both boys nodded as chan walked to get his kit in the bathroom.

Felix slowly woke up, batting his eyelashes as he stretched his arms. He looked around and sat up frantically. "W-where am I-" he looked at Han and started hyperventilating.

"Hey hey! It's ok. I'm chan, I'm here to help you bub. Do you remember what Jisung was talking to you about before you fell asleep?" Chan came into the room and placed his hands on Felix's thighs.

The younger started shaking. "I- um.. h-he said that s-someone can help with m-my cuts.." the oldest smiled and nodded. "That's me bubby.. can I touch them please?" Felix stared at the comforting eyes and nodded slowly.

"Thank you for answering, you're doing so well. What's your name bub?" He tried distracting the younger as he cleaned the wounds. "F-Felix.. Lee Felix." "What a pretty name Felix.. I'm almost done ok?" Felix nodded and looked up at Han.

"W-who is this?" He pointed to Minho. The called one smiled and ruffled Felix's hair. "I'm Minho, Han's boyfriend." Felix blushed and looked down. "I-I knew you were gay H-Han."

Chan chuckled. "Yes, Han is very gay-" "hey!! I'm standing right here guys!" The boys in the room laughed lightly. Chan pulled away and smiled. "All done! How do you feel?"

Felix felt around the bandage and smiled sadly. "F-fine, thank you chan.. h-hyung." Chan lifted the other's chin. "Of course!-" "h-how did you learn how to b-bandage it?" Felix cut the older off.

"One of the boys that live here used to harm himself too.. he's almost a year clean now, but I'm the oldest here and I need to take care of my brothers. Since we all have had family troubles, we consider ourselves brothers because we've never had love from a family member." Chan smiled and looked up at the others standing by the door, observing the conversation.

Felix looked over at the door. "T-that's a lot of people to live with.." the boys smiled and walked in. "Where's changbin and hyunjin?" The oldest asked the group, they shrugged and sat on the floor next to the bed.

"Should we all introduce ourselves?" The boys nodded before hearing the door open and close. "Channie? Where is everyone?"

"We're in my room baby!" Changbin and hyunjin walked over to Chan's room and looked at the boy sitting uncomfortably in Chan's bed.

Changbin made eye contact with Felix and opened his mouth. "F-Felix?"

Felix let out a stuttered breath. "B-binnie.."





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Left you guys in suspenseeee

Bro this next chapter.. is gonna hit different for me, I'm really basing this on real life experiences 😁

Anyways lol

*not proofread*

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