Need Love

Chapter 14

***************oglpt_lilo (helping edits :) tysm!******************

"How do you know that!?" I muffle into his bare chest.

"Julia," Lucas shakes me as he makes me stare at him. "I just know."

He kisses me softly yet passionately.

"Just Don't say that, baby. He's crazy its not your fault." He says between the kiss, his face inches from mine.

"But ma-."

He smacks me. Hard.

"Damnit Stop! Julia stop. Don't think that fucking way." He says loudly , causing me to flinch even more.

Why did he... Slap me? Couldn't he just yell. I just kept thinking. I'm worthless, pathetic, ugly, unlovable.

Maybe I deserved it Or Maybe he'll hit me too.. Just maybe he'll be like my father. I moved away from him slowly looking down at my feet.

No, He couldn't be. He'll never be that guy, that pathetic excuse of a man. Never.

When I looked back up, he had small glistening tears forming in his tear ducks. " I didn't.mean to , baby, I'm so sorry. Its just that you just make me so mad sometimes..." He says kissing my cheek repeatedly.

I just slightly smile.

"I'm so sorry don't hate me. I'll never do that again, I'll never hurt you again, ever. " He whispers.

I kiss him roughly with a small hint of passionate lingering in there.

"I know." I say softly yet breathlessly.

He groans. His once so light eyes become dark. No more lust, his face shows the facial expression of hate.

Me? Of course me. Everyone hates me. Everything I touch, I destroy.

I move closer to him than before , if that was possible. I touched his chin softly, his eyes snapping to me.

"Baby?"

He blinks, as he then meets my eyes. He stands up and goes toward the wall , doing something so shocking.

Boom. Bang. Is all I hear repeatedly. I look over to see him punching my perfectly painted wall.

He punches it over and over once again. He cries, as I start to cry.

"Stop!" I cried out , voice now cracking as his did just a minute ago.

"Why am I so fucking stupid." He keeps saying as he hits his head on the wall again and again. I run up to him as I cried along , hugging him as he turned around. His once light blue eyes are now
red, puffy and full of hate.

He slides against the wall, hitting the floor with a soft thud. He buries his head in between his legs, as I hover over him.

"I hate myself so much." , He started to rant softly to himself.

"Why am I like this?"

"Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck!!"

"Why. WHY!!!"

"just why!?..." He says first so loudly but the his voice cracks and his voice disappears. All you can here is sobs.

Soft sobs. I'd never in my life think that he would cry. Especially in front of me..

But What is he talking about?

Is there something he's not telling me?

"No, baby don't say this please. I love you, I'm here just like your here for me." I whisper as I sit down in front of him.

"Your gonna be just fine." I repeated again.

We rock in silence. This silence is comfortable yet tense. I soon drifted off into a deep slumber.