i cant say i blame you
id been distant for far too long
gave you no reassurance
and no explaination as to why
all those little signs you noticed
i noticed them too
but refused to admit it
and seem like a fool
i havent slept in my bed
it still smells like the night you left
you say im not losing you
that im still your best friend
but we both know now
it'll never be the same
to lose you is to lose a part of me
i feel like ive been torn in two
how long ago had you decided
that this was what you would do?
did you know
when you picked me up
for our date at 5?
was your mind typing
a script at dinner?
or were you only certain
once i laid in your arms?
there was nothing to be said
except everything i didnt say
when you held me as i cried
i needed to feel everything
and instead felt nothing at all
i have plenty of regret
but none compares to this
the thoughts of "what if"
wondering what i could have done
