Stray Kids Imagines

show me true love: part 5

Y/N pov

I couldn't believe his words. They kept repeating in my head 'I'll only protect you and make you feel loved. That's what you truly deserve.' That's what I deserve...?

My dad always said that to me. But it was never heard after such kind words. It was always after "I'll kill you... kill yourself then... feel the pain, don't ignore it..."

I started to tear up just thinking about it. But this was a nice one. So why am I crying? Why am I getting the urges? I have to find an excuse to go to the bathroom without worrying him.

Jisung looked at me and frowned "oh don't cry y/n, I didn't mean to make you cry.."

I shook my head and held in my sobs "it's not you... it's just..." I couldn't hold it in anymore and just started sobbing in front of him.

He quickly ran to my side and hugged me. "Shhh.. it's okay. You don't have to explain. Is it alright if I pick you up?"

I nodded instantly. I didn't care anymore about putting up my guard. I just needed the comfort, and the love. He smiled and carried me into the guest bedroom, setting me carefully on the bed.

I wait for him to lay down before I cling onto him. I hated that you we're doing this right now. But I couldn't stop.

He looked at you surprised "is everything okay?" He wiped away your tears and rubbed your back.

I shook my head "it's just past memories... they just keep coming back. My dad always used to say 'that's what you deserve' however instead of saying something sweet, it was cruel. 'Just die... that's what you deserve. It would make everyone happy.' It sucks that I can't just get rid of the memories and be happy." You started sobbing more.

He frowned "Im so sorry for triggering that memory. I really didn't mean to..."

I shook my head "you didn't know. And I know you didn't. You we're saying what's in your heart. And I really appreciate that."

He played with your hair "how about you take a warm bath okay? Do you like tea or hot chocolate?"

I looked up at him and smiled widely "I love hot chocolate. With marshmallows please!"

He nodded "do you want a bubble bath? I can get it ready for you!"

"yes... please and thank you."

He went into the bathroom and got the bath ready. I sighed in relief. I could cut while he was doing all of this. Thank god.

You started unpacking in order to find a pair of pajamas, and your razor. Once you found the razor you slid it accross your skin continuously.

Once I heard the door open, I quickly put it away and hid my bleeding arm.

"Thank you hannie."

He blushed softly at the nickname, "o-of course... go enjoy the bath, I'll prepare some things for you."

I nodded and closed the bathroom door. I covered the mirror and took off my clothes, sliding into the warm water.

I played with the bubbles until I decided to start cutting again. I didn't realize how deep I was going until I started getting dizzy. I stopped immediately and muttered "if he sees this... he'll kick me out.. he'll hate me... I need to stay awake and cover this up.."

Han pov

I had a feeling something was wrong with y/n. The bath went silent after a couple of minutes. What was she doing? What if she fell asleep?

I quickly got up and knocked on the bathroom door "y/n? Are you okay?"

I heard them scramble before draining the tub and running water in the sink "Y-Yeah... im okay.." they muttered, seeming off.

I pouted "Can I come in? Please? I need to make sure you're really okay."

Y/N pov

I froze at his words and stayed silent as I quickly cleaned my wounds. He can't see this. He can't see me... he might vomit just looking at me.

"I-Im naked hannie.. please... just wait a second.. im o-okay..."

He left the room without saying anything, atleast I thought so.

I quickly got dressed in my pajamas and opened the door, seeing him on the ground waiting for me.

Once he saw me he quickly got up "y/n? is something going on that you're not telling me?"

I looked at him confused and stunned. 'He's so worried... why?'

I shook my head as he nodded and held me tight.

He knows. I know he knows something is wrong. But he chose to stay quiet.

Han pov

I really wish I could help her. I wish she'd tell me whats wrong. But I know it's hard so I'll let it go for now.

"I made you some hot chocolate and a small meal. Nothing big I promise. No pressure to eat it all, okay?"

She nodded and stayed quiet. It seemed like she wanted to say something but she was holding it back. I decided to leave it alone for now and went with her downstairs.

She smiled widely at seeing the hot chocolate and took a little sip. I tried to hide my concern for her so that way she could enjoy this. But I was so worried. Something was really wrong. And she's not telling me.

But that's when I noticed. She's getting pale. Is she going to faint?