TIME AFTER TIME ; jjk

30

“You can look around and buy books here," Soohyun said.

“Really?”

She nodded, eyes scanning the place. “The staff told me.”

I leaned over the table to look at her face closely. "Coming here alone all of a sudden… What's the matter?"

"I miss the feel of bars and pubs."

"Nothing more?"

"I miss talking to someone over drinks."

I gave her a small smile and tried to repress my trembling hands, my racing heartbeat, and deafen the pounding ears. Somehow being this close to Soohyun made it more difficult to properly breathe in air. "The first few weeks of fourth year were hard, right?"

"The paperworks. They're frustrating."

"I'm already starting to study for the board examination."

"I have started, too. Makes me restless when I don't…" Soohyun pursed her lips before asking, "Are you staying after the exam?" 

I lifted my brows and shrugged my shoulders, clueless of how I could answer without explaining much. I ended up shaking my head and Soohyun picked up on it, nodding and resting her elbows on the table, and I might have seen disappointment in her eyes. She continued, “Can I ask you something else… it might come off offensive but that’s not my inten–”

I smiled. “Don’t worry, go right ahead.”

Her gaze set right back on my face. “Do you still like me?"

My mouth parted a little but then I gave her a silent reply. I nodded.

I didn't know if she was relieved or saddened by my admission when she sighed. The beers and food suddenly came and interrupted us, but when the server went away, Soohyun asked again, "Do you like me for what and who I am? Or do you like me just because I’m here for you?”

I found it interesting that she asked. I poured myself a drink before answering. “I like you… When you’re not around, I still like you. When I don’t think too much, I still do, even more so when I think too hard. I don’t know why.”

“Okay.”

“Will it be reduced to something less valuable if I can’t articulately explain the reason?”

“I don’t know.”

“I like you.” I would tell her something more powerful, but saying it out loud was hard.

Soohyun smiled a little. “You’ve said that, yes.”

“Even when I don’t say it a lot.”

“Hmm,” she paused and looked away, “I feel safe with you.”

“I’m glad then. I feel the same way. More settled, I guess.”

“Settled?”

I said, “As if no one could move and throw me around even if there’s a storm outside.”

A giggle escaped her mouth. “I didn’t know you can be a sweet talker sometimes.”

“I’m being honest right now.”

“By waxing poetic?”

I laughed. “Stop.”

She put her hand over mine. It took me by surprise. But it was strangely comforting. I let her do that for the next few minutes. 

"Your hand's cold," she commented.

"My hands are always cold."

"You look pale."