Fate's Woven Thread

CHAPTER TWELVE

        She did all she could to stop herself from coming back. What was the need? She drowned herself in training and plotting. Sending and receiving letters from Rojan on the development of her troops, snooping around town trying to fish out information, -no matter how negligible- on the happenings in the castle and while her net was able to catch a lot, she felt no sense of accomplishment as a certain auburn haired servant kept crawling into her mind space the minute it was free of thought as she laid her head to rest.

        During the day she had to put a lot of effort into thinking now late at night she had to channel the same amount of effort into trying not to think. Just perfect.

        She tossed and turned repeatedly but what was the use? She'd been restive for over a sennight and if this was the nosy hand of fate trying to toy with her sanity by feeding her brain with these wanton imageries then she had to admit it was working just fine. Dammit. She was running out of excuses.

        And that was why she was currently out in the forest, just before dawn, on a tree branch, hands crossed behind her head, staring straight at another tree where two squirrels chased after each other tirelessly. They were to leave for the castle in two days and she did not want to spend her last days -before working for Xavier- feeling unresolved. As a warrior she knew how fatal lack of focus could be. The slightest form of distraction and you're a head on a city wall. She had to get rid of this distraction. Fast.

        She looked away from the tree and found Zayn standing just a few inches way from it. He stared at her in shock but made no effort to move.

        How could he? He thought he'd already seen the last of her. And although he had spent his most recent days pulling his hair as to why she would run away from him. He was glad. At least he would not have to constantly dodge her eyes in guilt, would not have to endure the dread tearing at his entrails anytime he managed to stare into those eyes, would be able to restrain himself from wishing for something he did not deserve.

        He had never wished for something more in his entire seasons alive as he wished to be just a mere servant. Then things would've been a lot easier.

        She felt her heart clench in pain at the sight of him -he looked sleep deprived. He did naught wrong so why should she punish him this way. Why did he have to show up in her life now, of all times. Why not sooner? Why not later? She agilely jumped down from the tree and carefully walked over to him. "I did not think you would still come here." She said slowly.

        He didn't wear a cheerful expression as he had the times before. He looked thoroughly devastated. She clenched her fists.

        "I enjoy the peace and quiet of this place. Surely you did not expect me to stop just because you did." He said calmly and looked away. Mayhaps he was being a bit harsh, but he could not help himself. Her running away from him had hurt. Even if it was hypocritical of him to act this way. It still had hurt.

        "I have been busy-"

        "Avoiding me perhaps." He completed.

        "No." She lied and clenched her fists. "I had a lot to take care of."

        "You do not have to lie to me Myra." He looked back at her. "You told me to stay away from you."

        She looked down. "You do not understand."

        "Then make me Myra." He said as he held both of her hands in his. "I understand you barely know me and asking you to tru-"

        "I can not." She pulled her hands out of his. "I Can't trust you."