FATHER ALWAYS SMILING

Chapter 38 ~~~~~

It had been over a week since I hadn't come to school. In just one week, everything felt different. From the teachers to the students.

And since I was gone, another kid was hurt, from what I've heard it was Jill. When I realized what happened to Jill, I felt like it was my fault. If I didn't explode the way I did, if I had held it in like all those times before, then maybe, Jill wouldn't have been hurt.

The only reason I knew it was her was because of how she acted now, as compared to before, just like all the other kids who had been hurt by that monster.

Added with how the class and so many other students treated them after I fought back, Jill was alone. And that left her open to being hurt at his hands.

It made me feel sick.

Would he not stop, not even after I called him out in the principal's office? Did he think nothing could hurt him? That he was untouchable?

I felt useless. Absolutely useless.

Angry and frustrated I leaned against the brick wall of the school, feeling the sudden need to smack my stupid head against the brick behind me.

What could I do?

Jill was like all the others, too scared to talk, afraid of what that monster would do if anyone knew the truth. Anyone important that is. Since she hated me, I wasn't important, and no one would believe me anyhow. Just like before.

I hated this, I wanted to do something. I promised myself I would. Yet here I was, unable to do anything. All because I was a kid.

So frustrating!

Why? WHY?!

Just because I'm a kid, doesn't mean I shouldn't be heard, that I shouldn't be ignored! Why were so many adults like that? Like my mother? Like my grandmother and uncle?

No, calm down, acting out would just prove them right and that was the last thing I needed to do. I had to do something, and soon. If this went on any longer... then Kaya or another kid might be next... I... I didn't want to think about it, if I did, I might end up picturing it so clearly, as if it were real. If I let my imagination wander too much it may cause others to worry. It's one of the reasons why Mia didn't like me because I could easily figure out what was wrong and the possible cause.

Because of what happened yesterday I managed to get Kaya to stay or play with Lukas, at least that way she wouldn't be alone. Had I not seen Nick purposely interact with Kaya, making it look like he caught her when all he did was pretend to when he pushed her, my mind started to picture things, things I didn't want to happen but feared for the worst.

Even with my imagination, I could always picture things easily, solve puzzles when seeing the pattern, and figure out what I needed to do with little clues in point-and-click games like in Nancy Drew or even when I'd read in children's mystery books too. It wasn't hard for me to know who the 'bad guy' would be. But this was real life and not a story in a children's book. I had no special powers I was just good at picking up things quickly from a person or reading, music, language and other things. It didn't make me special, it's just how I was.

As I leaned against the wall, looking up at the blue fall sky, trying to think of something that could work, I heard something. Something that didn't come from the kids that screamed or shouted as they played. Or of teachers keeping an eye on them. No, this sound was small as if someone was trying to make it impossible to hear. But with my hearing I could.

Someone was crying.

I followed the sound of sobbing to a hidden spot in the school. Rounding the corner of a part of the outside no one goes to, I saw Mia sitting on the ground, curled up and crying as she hugged her knees.