So What?

Chapter 13: Switch.

He lets go of my neck and I try my best to catch my breath.

"I'll see you at lunch." He tells me as he starts walking away.

I massage my neck, trying my best not to make a sound. The door of the chemistry lab opens and Mrs. Greta walks out. I quickly wipe my eyes and get up.

"Jasmine, are you alright? I heard someone yelling." She says, walking towards me.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I say before I head into the lab, not giving her the chance to ask me any more questions.

***

"Exactly." Aaron says, beside me with his hand around my waist.

"That's sick, dude. You could get drafted." Elliot, Aaron's friend, says. He has a huge crush on Chanel, but she hates his guts.

"I know. I'm so stocked. And Jaz here," He says, looking at me, "could be a basketball wife." He continues.

Elliot lets out a loud hearty laugh and Chanel scoffs beside me. It's obvious that she's irritated.

"Jaz, are you okay?" Christian asks me and I stare at him, confused.

"Yeah, why'd you ask?" I ask him.

"Your nose is literally bleeding." Christian says and I touch my nose and I feel something warm. I look at my hand and its blood.

"Oh my, let's get you to the bathroom." Chanel tells me, hoisting me up out of the seat. As we start walking towards the entrance of the cafeteria, I see that I'm leaving drops of blood in my wake.

When we get to the bathroom, I wash my face and stuff pieces of tissue paper in my nose. Chanel was so confused about what was going on. She just stared at me the entire time.

"What?" I ask.

"How are you so chill?" Chanel asks me.

"About what?" I question.

"You know what. Your body is definitely telling you to get out of that relationship." She tells me.

"I can't. I love him." I tell her and she stares at me in shock

"What changed? Because at the party you acted like you were done with his ass." She asks me and I stare at my feet.

"I love him." I repeat. Even though Aaron is literally blackmailing me to stay with him, a part of me still loves him.

"Even though you know that he's sleeping with your best friend?" She asks me, stunned.

I nod.

"Yes." I whisper.

"Wow." She says, staring at me. "At least look me in the eyes and say it."

"Look, love is tricky." I explain.

"When you've been married six years and you're wondering if he still loves you or not. Not this early on. Not in high school. You have choices. Make them." She tells me, touching my shoulder.

"No, I don't really have any choice." I tell her, looking her straight in the eyes. I take her hand off my shoulder and walk out of the bathroom.

***

"You've been avoiding me?" Christopher says, standing in front of me. I'm packing my money off the stage and stuffing it inside my brown leather bag. I don't need his disturbance right now.

"Giving me the silent treatment? I'm that important, huh?" He says and I roll my eyes.

"Don't you have something better to do?" I ask him, irritated.

"As opposed to annoying you? No. Not really." He answers with a smile on his face.

"Well, I have a job to do." I say as I pick up my leather bag. I head to the locker room to drop it off before I go to the champagne room. I have two private dance requests.

"Why won't you talk to me?" He asks, cornering me and blocking the locker room door.

"Because...I'm not a science project." I tell him and he looks at me, dumbfounded.

"I'm just gonna go ahead and tell you since you wanna play dumb. You know that thing that I told you I overheard, well here it is. They said that you've only dated white girls and that's your preference. So you moving to me when you know I'm black must obviously mean that you're trying to run an experiment typa thing and mi nuh wid dat." I tell him.

"What are you talking about? And that was so hot by the way." He tells me.

"Goodbye." I say, pushing him away from the door and I walk inside the locker room

After stuffing my backpack inside my locker, I head to the champagne room and get ready for my first dance. I tell them what song to play and they play it. I walk inside the champagne room and the lights are turned off. Only the red LED lights are on right now and I feel nervous. The man is sitting in the chair, in the dark, and can probably see me from the little dark corner he's in. I mount the pole and start spinning. Feeling on my body, I hear him grunt. I get off the pole and dance sensually, swaying my hips.

"I would like a lap dance." He demands and I scoff.

"And I would like to have a house in the Valley, but I guess we can't all get what we want, can we?" I ask him.

"Please, I'll tip good." He says with labored breaths. What is he doing over there?

I give in and I head to his seat. As I seat on his lap, he palms my ass cheek and I take his hand off. Suddenly, I feel a warm liquid on my left thigh and I squeal.

What is that?

I run towards the light switch and I turn the lights on. The man has his whole dick out and he was just sitting there, jerking off and apparently finished the job on my thigh. I look down and see the white liquid running down my leg.

Eww.

I storm out of the champagne room and I head to the bathroom. Grabbing a paper towel, I wipe my leg clean. I pour some soap into my hand and I run it over my legs, rinsing it with water from the sink. Tears pool in my eyes as I stare at myself in the mirror.

I've never felt like an object, up until this moment. I feel so dehumanized right now. Like I'm just a means to an end. Like all I was made for is being someone's whore or performer. I know it's my job. I'm very aware of that, but today is just a horrible day for me.

I wash my face before I head out of the bathroom. I head to the locker room and change into my sweatpants and sports bra. I order an Uber and I sit and wait until it arrives. When it does, I walk out of the locker room, I keep walking until I get to the bar. Christopher is talking to a redhead and he has a huge smile on his face. Her arm is around her bicep and she's laughing. I walk past them, acting like I didn't see anything. The only way to survive here is just to keep to myself and do my job. After all, I won't be working here for long. Once I get enough money to get my mother her papers, I'm quitting.