Breaking the code (Russia x Germany)

15.

Germany placed a soft kiss on Russia's forehead before closing the door. He finally fell asleep. But Germany couldn't say the same for himself. His eyes felt like they were burning and trying to fall out.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He needed something to cope with his stress and sleep deprivation but since there was no beer on the ferry for some unknown reason he had to use what he could. Besides it's better to smoke than to take drugs.

He lighted his cigarette and made his way to the fence. The fact that this fence was the only thing separating him from the deep blue water was kinda comforting. Now he didn't even bother to push such thoughts out of his mind. There was nothing more peacefully than the thought of death. One day all the hell he's going through will end and he can finally rest. And he will finally get some good sleep.

He smiled at that thought.

"Can't sleep?"

Being too tired to react to anything he just slowly turned his head to the side.

"Nope," was all he said before he turned to look back into the distance.

Canada walked closer to him and leaned on the fence right beside him.

"What about you?"

"I woke up about an hour ago."

"Managed to get any sleep?"

"About 5 hours. Should be enough for the day."

"Maybe. Maybe not."

"Have you slept at all?"

"No."

"For how long?"

"I don't know. 3, maybe 4..."

"4 days?!"

"Mhm."

Canada then looked down at the cigarette in his hand.

"Since when do you smoke?"

"Only when I'm sleep deprived. I can go for 3 days without sleep easily, but if I pass that then I'm becoming really stressed. I would mostly get beer to calm myself down but since there is none I have to use what I can."

"Ya know... This might sound stupid to you but... I'm getting seriously worried about you..."

"Why tho?"

"Well... Let's say that no one's perfect... May I confess something?..."

"Sure."

They both stayed silent for a little bit. Germany was patiently waiting for Canada to find a way to tell him whatever he wanted to, but he said nothing. That was an obvious sign for Germany to say something.

"Keep one thing in mind."

Canada looked up at him.

"You can always change your mind. I won't push you to tell me and I won't mention it to you ever. You have my word... Would you like one?"

Germany handed him the pack of cigarettes. Canada accepted the offer.

Once the cigarette was lit and the first puff of smoke hit his lungs he felt a little bit calmer.

"What I was trying to say is... well... I maybe seem like a really calm person, someone who is not easily shaken by anything but... truth is I'm the complete opposite..."

"It's nothing new for people to pretend that they are something they're not. I know there must be a good reason behind that."

"Good or not, there is one. I have a big problem with empathy. People call it a good trait but to me it's like a curse... My mind tends to simulate the emotional pain a person feels during some situations. It's like every person sends some energy waves through the air. And every emotion sends a different signal. You could be laughing at the top of your lungs right now but I can feel that you're tired, stressed, mad, worried, maybe even paranoid at some point. I noticed that the first time we saw each other but I didn't dare to question it... Maybe you'll think I'm crazy but... that's just something I go through every day and the more people around me feel negative emotions the more they get to me and make me experience the same."