𝐩𝐚𝐩𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬 [ 휴닝카이 ]

28 - memories

Yuri ran all the way to the hospital as tears ran down her face.

This can't be.. this can't be happening..

There's no way she's gone.

Yuri felt like her legs were going to snap in half and her lungs were about to explode.

She paused and caught her breath outside of the hospital as Kai caught up with her.

"Yuri-!" He shouted as he found her slouched over clutching her chest.

Yuri teared up a bit as she got up and held Kai's hand and ran into the hospital.

They ran inside, skipping the front desk lady and running straight to her grandma's room.

 Yuri paused as her eyes widened.

After all these years her parents stood right in front of her.

"Where have you been-?!" Yuri's mom scolded.

"Me? Where have you been?!" Yuri shouted.

"We just got the call about your grandmother!" Yuri's mother said, "and you're out here messing around with your boyfriend!"

"You know nothing!" Yuri snapped, "I ran all the way from her house to here for her-!"

"Please, enough of your lies Yuri.." She said looking irritated.

"Shut up-!" Yuri shouted, "Shut up!"

Yuri's mom went quiet as her eyes widened in disbelief.

"Why do you suddenly fucking care?!" Yuri cried. "You've never been there for me since the start! And now you're scolding me for being late?"

"Yuri, it's for your own good.." Yuri's dad said.

"Neglecting me? Sending me to a mental hospital thinking it'd do anything?" Yuri said. "You did all that for me?"

"The only person who truly gave a shit about me was my grandma and now she's gone-" Yuri said tears streaming down her face.

Yuri's mom sighed.

"I'm sorry Yuri, that we weren't there for you." She suddenly apologized.

"Took you long enough to apologize.." She said deadpan.

Her parents remained quiet.

"We're sorry Yuri, we'll return the money back to your bank account.." Yuri's dad said.

Yuri scoffed as shook her head in disbelief.

"When will it be the day you stop caring about money so much?" Yuri said tears streaming down her face.

"We'll take care of the funeral Yuri.. go home" He continued.

Yuri clutched her hands tightly.

"You guys are pathetic.. You better be at the funeral." Yuri said walking off and then pausing, "I won't be surprised if I don't see you there.."

Yuri silently held Kai's hand as they walked out of the hospital leaving her parents in there.

Once they were far enough from the hospital, Yuri sat on the sidewalk and cried until she couldn't breathe.

Kai wrapped his arm around her as he sat there beside Yuri the whole time.

Yuri had forgotten Kai was there as she hugged him and he held her tightly.

"I'm so sorry, Yuri.." Kai said as she sobbed.

"It's okay, she's at peace now feeling no more pain.." Kai tried calming her.

Yuri finally calmed down as she sat there silently.

Imagine if I was up there with her right now. 

Feeling no pain, feeling safe.

Why can't I get that here?

Is it too much to ask for? 

The basic needs of needs of feeling safe and loved?

Is it all too much?

"Kai.." 

"Yeah?" 

"Do you love me?" she asked, "or do you just feel pity for me?"

Kai's heart began to race a bit. 

I'm in love with you-- No I can't tell her that

"You can't feel pity for those you don't love" Kai said looking over at Yuri. 

Tears slid down from Yuri's eyes as Kai hugged her. 

"In other words, I do love you." 

Maybe there is someone here who loves me.

"I won't leave you Yuri," Kai said, "I don't know everything you've gone through, you don't have to tell me anything, but it's okay to feel whatever you're feeling"

"And.. I love you" he said, his ears turning pink. 

"Thank you Kai.." Yuri smiled. 

♡

Kai offered me to come over his place but I said no. I didn't want to be a burden to his family.

Kai is sleeping beside me on my living room couch as I flip through one of the last things my grandma wanted me to bring her in the hospital.

Her old photobook.

I was numb looking through all the photos. All the memories plastered against a piece of paper.

That could never be recreated again.

I put my parents to blame for the way this family turned out.

I don't know if I'd bring myself to forgive them.

Yuri looked over down the hall where her grandma's bedroom used to be, it dark and empty. 

She stood up and walked into the bedroom, it felt so empty. 

She placed the photobook onto her grandma's bed, along with an envelope. 

Yuri turned to look at the bedroom for the last time as she slowly shut the door behind her.