What if I changed?

{ Day 12}

Amelia and Millie never get along. They despise each other. Even though we don't even know the exact reason why they hate each other so much. Rumour has it they were actually best friends during preschool, and something happened and they never talked to each other again. 

A week went by, and I still can't get over my dad's death. It just felt like I lose hope. On Tuesdays, I'll draw whatever I want to draw. On Wednesdays, I paint whatever I want to paint, and this is what depression looks like. You do something over without realizing you are doing it over. So when you binge eat you don't realize you're binge eating, when you're depressed, you don't even know you're going through depression. And just a week of binge-eating, I gained 5 kilograms and weighed a total of 57 kilograms. My mom's just nagging me to come out and say whatever she wants to say, she thought she made me feel better but she did the opposite actually, she made me feel even worse. But, art has been always there for me, I spend hours drawing, perfecting lines, and sketching. It felt like this was my best depression yet. I was so exhausted I collapsed onto my bed. And fell into a deep slumber. 

"Em...can you please come out?' Jessica's voice was weak and light as if she was scared. "What?' I was rather grumpy. "I- I don't want you to waste your life like this... you can sleep over at my house...hmm?' she squeaked. "Okay.." I figured it out. I shouldn't waste my life like this...especially when I have a dream to chase. I heaved a sigh and opened the door. "I'm sorry Jessica, I've been a loser right?' I hugged her tight. She nods and chuckles.

10:00pm

"Yo, Avery...how's Chris?' Amelia tried lifting up the mood by talking about Avery's son. "Yeah...yeah, he's good, a good boy..." she smiled. "Aubrey isn't picking up her phone.." Ava added in a worried tone. "Who cares?" Amelia shrugged while chewing her fingernails. "Are we a little mean?' Avery crossed her legs and said. "We aren't mean..she's just drunk..." Amelia said. "By the way, what happened to Millie back there? Sounds like a lot of drama.." Ava eyes at Amelia and spoke. "I would fucking kill her if I can..." Amelia gave a sharp look to Ava. "That's not funny Amelia..' Avery made eye contact with Amelia's dark black eyes. "Look, she's not as bad as you say. " Avery said in a whisper. "She's nobody but a crazy fucking bitch." Amelia walked around the room while smoking. "The language...Amelia..." Ava gave her a sharp look. "Look, what's important now is to stop bothering Millie, it's not nice to try to pull people down." Avery was soft-hearted. "She has been pulling me down for like 3 fucking years and ya'll as my best friends will stand up for her? But not me?' Amelia was offended. "Alright, can we just not have this conversation?' Ava frowned. "Honestly...if I could fucking kill her, I would...' Amelia clenched her fists. "What? It's because she just humiliated you in biology class?" Ava shouted. 'No...like...she's been humiliating me for my whole entire fucking life and I just want to teach her one godamn lesson!' Amelia shouted back. "I'm using the bathroom." Avery didn't want to be around her friends right now, she needed a break. 

11:00pm

"Here..." Jessica handed me a bowl of salad with cherry tomatoes and cabbage or carrots. "Seriously?' I glared at her. "You need to eat something healthy after you locked yourself up in that room for like 7 days." Jessica joked around. "And um- I have to tell you something." "What?'  I looked at her and the bowl of salad in front of me. "I met this really cute guy in my tuition class." Jessica gave me a cheeky smile. "Cute guy? So you're in love now?' I laughed and joked around. "Huh? no! I said he's cute. That's all..." Jessica's cheeks were turning bright red. "I highly doubt that.." I joked around and laughed playfully.