What if I changed?

( Day 6 )

Have you ever had this feeling? Where you wished you could go back in time, you wish you could replay that moment, make it perfect. Or you wished you hadn't said it,  you should've made another decision. Well. what happened today, really wished I could be a better friend. It happened a week after the party. 

SEPTEMBER 25, 2005

"I hate that, I'm just sick of it." Amelia had been complaining about Millie for the whole week. I don't get what's the big deal, but to Amelia is a big deal. Aubrey shooked her head and rolled her eyes. "Have anyone seen Avery?' she hasn't reported to school since last week right after the party." Aubrey was rather aware. "She's probably sick or something, that's what she said when I texted her." Ava shrugged. Meanwhile, Avery wasn't sick, she was just having panic attacks. "You don't get it, Jo, I think it's positive!" she cries over the phone to her boyfriend. "Will you please calm down? It could be just one of your panic attacks..." he tried to control his tone. "No, No, I swear on my life I think it's happening, I'm just so scared right now!" Avery broke down in tears while her father watched her from afar.  Jo ended up hanging up the phone.

2:00 am 

'KNOCK! KNOCK!" , "KNOCK, KNOCK". I was woken up by a sudden knock on the door at 2 am. "Who the heck is it?" I was rather furious because I'm in my "sleepy' mode, and 'sleepy' mode means "bad mood' mode turned on as well. I forced myself out of my bed as I walked slowly to the door. "Avery?' I opened the door for her as she looked like she needed my help. She looked like she was broken into pieces. "Avery? What's wrong? You turned up at my house at 2 am...what do you want?' my voice was rather rough. "I think I made a mistake, and I don't know what to do..." tears rolled down her cheeks instantly. "Okay, okay can you just stop crying and tell me what is going on?' I started getting impatient. "I'm pregnant..." as soon as she broke down the main reason for her visit. I was actually mad. "You're what? Are you a hundred percent sure?' I asked her in a worried tone as I grabbed my hair. "I didn't mean for this to happen...I swear to god." I stood there, silent. It isn't because she's pregnant at her age or anything, it's her responsibility to take care of it. "You think it's fun?' I started getting mad.

2:25 am

"I didn't mean for this to happen.." she repeated her sentence. "What are you going to do? Any ideas?' "You think is a burden you have to bear but it's not, it's a burden your family has to bear... what is your dad going to say about this?' I just feel a ball of fire running inside of me, I can't help it. I was just mad. "I'm keeping it, I'm finding a way...alright?' she can't stop crying, tears falling down her eyes to her cheeks and to her neck. I heaved a sigh. "Fine, your boyfriend? What does he have to say about it?' She paused for a fraction of a second and spoke."He keeps denying it...." "You're not even 18 yet... I'm not talking about alcohol or anything but this is just- " I can't go on when I'm searching to find the right words. Because I can see what happens next, Avery was just too naive to see it." Aren't you afraid he's going to toss you aside?' I broke down the truth despite I know it would hurt her feelings. "He's not going to toss me aside.... he loves me....' Avery looked at me and showed a weak smile. "That's a lie...if he keeps denying it, it's so obvious it's  a lie.' She didn't like what I was saying. 

So she left. To her, she was actually crying about what her boyfriend would say, instead of her child, because all she ever wanted was one. But she was afraid of disapproval, and rejection, so she kept lying to herself because it made her feel better.