flowers and showers and stuff || h.s, z.m, l.t au || on hiatus

8.

This is dedicated to my sister, Clara...love you so much it hurts xo.

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So far, they had time traveled from the steps of the Met to the Conservatory Pond, then from there, the Bethesda Terrace and from the Bethesda Terrace over to the Central Park Zoo...they kind of got distracted there though because Harry really wanted to see the animals. So they held hands as the perused through the exhibits and if anyone had really paid attention to them, they would have looked like two excited children, visiting the zoo for the first time. They made faces at the sea lions, hopped around like the penguins, waved at the lemurs and marveled at the snow leopards. Mae didn't-couldn't remember a time where she'd ever smiled more than she had today. Being with Harry was so incredibly different than being with Louis and Zayn. When she was with Louis and Zayn, they did kind of like, mature stuff? They smoked and fücked and drank a lot of alcohol, but when she was with Harry, it was like the whole world was new and exciting. He appreciated the tiniest of things and so she did too. When they were together, they could run around and giggle and mess about like school children. He made her feel young and alive again, not that she was, like, old? But yeah. He did something to her. He brought her back to the days when she and her parents were happy, when it was just the three of them and no step-mothers or boyfriends or step-siblings, just the original bunch. Mae missed those days more than she would ever be willing to admit, but Harry was her source of complete utter happiness. She enjoyed her time with him so much, it was outrageous. He had two polar opposite sides that made her feel equally incredible. He could fück her until she couldn't even breathe-until the sun came out and the moon and stars went away. He kissed her like she needed to be kissed and he touched her in all the right places, but like, he also could turn around and practically skip around Central Park with her and feed ducks and make silly childish jokes and he made her smile like she'd never smiled before and she knew that he was good. Harry was good. She wasn't necessarily ready to give up Louis and Zayn and as long as Harry didn't hear about it or see it, he was sort of okay with it too. He just wanted to be with her, like, always. "I kind of want those little dino nuggets, y'know? The ones the Crane Cafe sells? Oh and a chocolate milk!" Dino nuggets and chocolate milk? He was actually the cutest. But yeah, like, dino nuggets and chocolate milk sounded perfect.

"Do you wanna go to the Crane Cafe then?" Harry nodded enthusiastically.

"I really wanna go to the Crane Cafe." So they went to the Crane Cafe. They sat down after getting their chocolate milk and dino nuggets and they played footsie and he kept grinning at her because she had to be the prettiest thing he'd ever seen. "So like, do you ever think about what animals think of?"

"Like...their thought process?"

"Yeah, on like, a daily basis."

"I think the ones in captivity wonder what it's like to be free and vice versa. Like, when I was really little, we had this cat and we got her from friends of ours who's cat had kittens and every day she'd eat a little bit, then she'd sit on the window sill and just watch the world go by and I remember feeling so bad for her, so one day, I let her out and, y'know, thinking that she'd come right back, but she didn't. I was so sad. I never wanted anything to leave again, but then my mom left and my dad got remarried and I just started realizing that everyone leaves y'know?" Harry hung onto her every word. "I think...animals and people have similar thought processes. Like, my mom must've wanted to leave for so long, to just be free. Just like my cat. We all want what we don't know or what we can't have." He put his dino nugget down and reached over, holding her hand tightly in his.

"Not everybody leaves, Mae."

"The most important people leave."

"That's not true." He shook his head, brow furrowing immensely. "Like, if you're important to someone and they're important to you...I don't think they'd leave." Mae felt like maybe Harry was saying that he wouldn't leave, maybe that's why he was getting so defensive-it was-and that made her feel kind of happy, like, he might not want to leave and she might be important enough to him that he stays.

"I guess, yeah."

"Hey Mae?"

"Yeah?"

"Why are you always thinking so negatively?" She hoped a Zayn-esque comment wouldn't come out of his mouth.

"I don't mean to. I've just found that, like, whenever I want something good to happen or I expect something good to happen, everything goes wrong. Like, the complete opposite of what I want, so I just don't expect much, because then I can never be let down." Harry hurt for her, like, how could someone be so scared to live?

"That isn't anyway to live, Mae." She just shrugged.

"Why don't you like relationships?" This caught him off guard, like, he did not see it coming.

"What? I-I don't not-" A loss for words is what was happening here. He sighed as she bore her blue eyes into him intently. "Just...the last girl I dated."

"Bitch?" His first instinct was to defend her, but then he ended up just nodding in agreement.

"Yeah, actually." His last dino bite was placed onto his tongue and he chewed. Mae just watched him. After washing it down with his milk, he continued. "Just...like, lied a lot, cheated more times than I could count. And like, she was the first girl I ever loved, so...dunno. It just hurt so much more, y'know?"

"I've never been in a relationship."

""Why?"

"After watching my parents? Yeah, no fücking thanks."

"Divorce, yeah?"

"Yeah. Just a whole bunch'a shit that sucked a lot for an eight year old to have to go through."

"Like, my parents are so happy. They're like...just really happy together. I just, I feel like not everyone can have that though." Harry felt for Mae, but he also knew of a lot of people who's parents went through the same thing and they were okay. There had to be more. Right?

"Yeah, I guess real love is possible. But there are so many more times when it's not. When it just hurts."

"I guess...sometimes you just have to go out on a limb." Green eyes and blue eyes mixed as they watched each other. "Should we head out?" Mae nodded and stood up. They threw their trash away and Harry grabbed her hand, intertwining their fingers. Walking out, he gave her a reassuring smile, as if to say, please don't leave me because I swear I won't leave you.