Chances [Chanyeol EXO]

X

You stared at your coffee cup and watched the steam rise from it. You were in the café that you and Chanyeol frequently visited to do school work together; it was one of the last places you were with him.

You ordered the same drink and sat on the same table. The only difference was that you were alone. Chanyeol's absence was like a big gaping hole in your chest.

Even though you haven't talked to each other for the past month, your last conversation was still fresh in your memory like it only happened yesterday.

"I love you, but I still need to figure out what the hell am I."

"I love you too."

Not a day would pass that his voice wouldn't ring in your ears. It was all you thought about-as you woke up, as you ate, as you went to sleep. You could still feel his arms around you when you closed your eyes for too long. He wasn't here, but at the same time, he was everywhere.

You missed him. You would be the biggest liar in the whole world if you say that you didn't. But to say that you simply missed him would be an understatement. You yearned for him. You longed to see his smile, to breathe in his scent, to feel his skin. You ached for his kiss, for his touch, for his body. You wished that he was sitting beside you right now.

But, as you said, you still needed to figure out what the hell you are.

You needed to distance yourself first. You had to find answers to the riddles in your head. You wanted to give yourself to Chanyeol, but you couldn't do that if you didn't know who you truly were or what you really wanted.

You were preparing yourself for a hard fall, and you were assessing if breaking yourself on impact was worth it.

You still saw Chanyeol in school the following weeks after you last talked with each other. The two of you exchanged brief smiles, but that was about it. He stopped hanging with you and Minseok and started going with Jongin and Sehun.

You felt relieved that he and Sehun were on good terms, and you felt even better when Minseok told you that even though Chanyeol didn't grab lunch with the two of you anymore, he and Chanyeol still kept tabs with each other.

The world went on even if you and Chanyeol didn't.

About a week ago, you stopped seeing Chanyeol around campus. You first noticed it when he didn't attend Philosophy anymore. You wanted to ask Baekhyun or Minseok about what happened to him, but you figured that if he wanted you to know, he would have said it to you himself.

So you let it be, and hoped that wherever he was, he was doing fine.

"Hey," a voice from behind you interrupted your train of thought.

It was Kyungsoo.

He was holding a book in his left hand and a cup of coffee in the other. He smiled at you warmly, like the two of you were some old friends who haven't seen each other in a long time.

He was an old friend. But you weren't sure if you can call him that after the hell he put you through.

"Are you waiting for someone?"

"No."

He sat down his book and his coffee on the table. "Can I sit here?"

You looked at him. You were surprised at his question. Sit here? Was he serious? Hasn't he forgotten what happened between the two of you?

You studied his face. He was still smiling, his lips forming a heart. You loved his heart-shaped smile. It was your favorite thing about him, and you had almost forgotten what it looked like because you haven't seen him smile in a long time.