The Vow

12

Andito ako sa office. Ilang araw narin ako hindi umuuwi, kapag tapos na shift ko, dun ako dumidiretso sa room ni daddy sa VIP floor, dun ako natutulog sa tabi nya, dun ako nagpapahinga sa tabi nya.

Isang oras nalang tapos na shift ko, andito lang ako sa couch ko nakaupo habang nakatulala. After that encounter with her, walang ni isa sa kanila ang nagtanong tungkol sa mga sinabi ko. Daddy is still unconscious but he's stable naman na.

Biglang may kumatok at pumasok si Mommy.

"Mommy, do you need anything?" Tanong ko at tumayo.

"Hindi pa tapos shift mo?"

"1 hour pa po. How's Dad?"

"Nagising na sya kaso may patient ka daw kaya hindi ka na namin nasabihan and he fell asleep again. How are you?"

"I'm good since nagising naman na si Dad"

"Anak, why didn't you told us? Why didn't you utter any single word about the origin of your phobia?" Tanong ni Mommy at umupo sa katapat na upuan ko.

"I got scared"

"Why? I asked Elijah, pinilit ko sya, sinabi nya yung tungkol sa sinabi mo kay Rina. Sabi nya, mas mabuting sa iyo manggaling, that's another way to help you lessen your baggage. Anak, tell Mommy what really happened"

Nakatingin lang ako kay Mommy habang pinipigil yung mga luha ko.

"I was 5, nagyaya ako sa beach because I want to go to the beach. They granted it, that day I pleaded her to swim with me, kasi Daddy was sound asleep, and I don't want to wake him up, kasi galing sya sa work the day of our flight. That time, nawawalan na ng time si Mom sa amin, ni hindi na nya ako nakakamusta like before, it's always me and Daddy nalang. Then sabi nya babantayan nya lang ako kasi may hinihintay syang tawag. I played sa dagat, pero dun lang ako sa mababaw na part. Then suddenly she's out of sight, hanggang sa hindi ko na napapansin na yung strong currency ng waves was tinatangay na ko, until I reached the deep part of the sea and I started drowning, hindi ko na maabot yung sand and it's too deep for a 5 year old who can't swim. Ang huling narinig ko nalang may lalaking nagsabi na may batang nalulunod, and I accepted my fate that time, and I was so thankful for that man kasi he saved me. They did CPR and when I woke up, I saw Daddy's face so worried and nervous that he might lose his little girl. I cried, and that's also the first time I saw Daddy so mad, nasaktan nya si Mommy, I mean who wouldn't? Pinabayaan nya yung anak nya na malunod. I looked at her and I never saw fear, nervousness, and worried in her eyes. Nung time na yun, I realized, she doesn't care even if I die. That's also the time I realized, I only have Daddy beside me. We stayed in Palawan for a week, then on our last night I heard her in the balcony, it was midnight and naalimpungatan ako. I heard her saying I love you and we will make love to the person she was talking on the phone. I stayed quiet, I never uttered a word kahit noong nahuli ko sila na nagsesex sa may guest room sa bahay namin dati, she warned me na iiwanan nya kami, I got scared because I know how much Daddy loves her. Then while she was in the shower. Her guy threatened me to kill us kapag nagsumbong ako kay Daddy, I got scared for me and Daddy. Tinanggap ni Daddy yung anak nya sa labas eh, and in return she will choose them. It goes on for 4 years, until I was 9, and I've had enough. I pleaded Daddy for us to leave Mommy, sabi ko lang hindi ko na kaya, I never told him the real reason. Then I was 12, sinamahan ako ni Tita umuwi dito sa Pinas to be a witness and to be Daddy's spokesperson kasi nagfile ng complain si Mom na kinidnap ako ni Daddy, so I told them the truth at dun din napawalang bisa yung kasal nila. Sorry Mommy, I really got scared, I was so scared na maapektuhan kayo ni Daddy, I was so scared na masaktan ulit si Daddy once malaman nya yung lahat ng tinake ko just for him to be safe. I'm sorry"

"Oh my gosh, anak, you should've at least told your Kuya. That's too much for a little girl to take. The threats, trauma, everything. I'm so sorry that you need to experience those. Is there anything else?"

"The real reason why I want us to leave was because her guy almost raped me while they were away, Mommy went home so he stopped. He touched me, Mommy, and it's still haunting me" sabi ko at yumakap sa kanya habang umiiyak.

"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry anak. Can you promise Mommy? Promise me na starting today, you will tell me everything. I badly want to help you overcome your fear, and make you better, your condition. Can you promise me that?"

"I promise. I'm so sorry, Mommy"

"Don't be sorry. You're strong, baby. You're so strong and I am so proud of you because at the age of 12 you stand up for you and your dad against the people you fear. I'm so proud of it" sabi ni Mommy at niyakap ako ng mahigpit. "I'm planning to give you another memory you can keep in your mind once your Dad gets better."

"What?"

"Let's go to Palawan again, as a family, we'll create new memories for you, happy memories. Would that be ok? We will face your fears with you. Anak, hindi man ako ang nagluwal sayo, but, I am your mom, you're my only daughter and I love you so much. As your mom, I want to face your fears with you. I will hold your hand so tight until it's all gone. I will go with you in your every sessions, and everywhere you want me to go with you. I will always be with you, hindi ka pababayaan ni Mommy, ok?"

"Thank you, Mommy. I love you so much"

"I love you too. I am your Mommy, and lahat ng hindi mo naexperience, I will let you experience it with me. Ok?"

Tumango lang ako habang umiiyak at magkayakap kami. Pinatahan lang nya ako at pinakain narin ng breakfast na dala nya para daw matutulog nalang ako pagdating namin sa room ni Daddy