ᴡʜᴇɴ ɪ ʟᴏᴏᴋᴇᴅ ᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ

Chapter 92

It was Christmas time of the year. Harry was busy preparing dinner for the day. His eyes trailing back to Zayn who was fixing up the Christmas cookies.

How did they get here? Well... That's a story you should know

~•~

✓ The day of Lilo's baby shower ✓

Harry had walked away from where everyone was, and sat down on a bench just outside the venue the baby shower was held. Being there just felt overwhelming. Everything was reminding him about the time of his baby shower. Now seeing Zayn here, all happy, he wonders how it would have been during his baby shower.

Kieran had been keeping an eye on Harry throughout the entire event. He might be a brat like Zayn claims him to be but he was shit overprotective of well Zayn. He knew him way before Zayn met Niall and Liam. So I guess there's that connection. Or that need he has to be overprotective of Zayn.

"Do you mind if I sit down next to you?" Harry answered with a nod looking at Kieran.

"Why aren't you back in there? It's your friend's baby shower after all"

"I just needed a breather" Harry said playing with the sleeves of his shirt.

Harry and Kieran had kind of gotten close in the small amount of time they have known each other. Maybe it's the comfort Kieran brings as a person that drew Harry to him. That could also be the reason why Kieran was a safe place for Harry to confide in.

"It's just seeing him all happy today made me wonder what it would have felt like if he was there for my baby shower.

And I know I'm the sole reason for that not happening"

"If you wanted him to be there with you every step of the way, why did you have to hide the truth from him? You could have reached out and told him Harry"

"I wanted to. Trust me.

There has been days when I would just stare at the phone all day long, hands itching to dial his numbers and call him or leave a text message.

I wanted to search for his Instagram account and sent him a dm. Every single time I took a step forward in doing that, the fear in me pushed me ten times back." Harry said on the verge of tears. To him, he felt like he was letting go of a huge weight in his chest. And Kieran felt like Harry needed someone to hear his side of the story without them yelling back at him how he should have told Zayn the truth.

"At least now he knows Harry" Kieran said soothingly "I know it might be hard for you. It's not easy for him either. Perhaps everyone around you is saying the same thing, singing the same song and telling you that if you had told him, you wouldn't be crying right now. You would have been a happy family right now."

"They might know what happened on the outside. They don't know the struggles you had within you. You and Zayn both need time to heal from all this. If you rush into it, you will not be hurting yourself only but Ezra too. Just hold on a little while longer Haz. Just a little bit more"

~•~

✓ That one moment of long lost safety ✓

Zayn had just put Ezra down for a nap. Harry was downstairs cleaning up the dishes before he went home. The little one insisted that the three of them have dinner together as a family. And who were the parents to say no to their little baby.

Harry could sense Zayn's presence behind him. He gulped down the sense of nervousness coursing through his veins. This would perhaps be the first time they would be spending time together alone without Ezra or the others being around.