𝐎𝐏𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐔𝐌

𝘿𝙄𝙑𝙊𝙍𝘾𝙀𝘿

There was a time, I did believe in his dreams. I still sorta do but he's proven time and time again, a dream won't manifest if you aren't putting in the work.

My motivation tactics and encouraging words can only do so much. The nigga is a certified bum and that's—that.

"I want a paternity test."

I immediately scrunched up my face, cocking my head to a forty-five degree angle. "Is that lyrics to your new song or sum?"

"Nah Nicki. I want a DNA test done on the kids. I need to know that they're mine. My moms—"

"Oh you done lost your damn mind. When you find your damn mind, you call me." I replied, cutting him off.

I grabbed my olive colored Chanel bag off the coffee table, strolling towards the front door.

Imagine asking me five years later for a DNA test. Trust, if I could pick and choose my kids father, I most certainly would, in a heart beat.

I pray for my Russel Wilson, daily.

The moment I got into my car, I dialed my big sisters' number. She's been convincing me for years that me staying with Dave for the sake of our children isn't the correct move and I should've listened to her instead of being stubborn.

Men fail to realize, a woman will mentally and emotionally leave them in the dust before we ever take precautions physically.

"Hey baby sis!"

"Lo." I sniffled as tears began to form in my eyes. I didn't want to cry, yet this man still has this firm hold on me.

"What's the matter Ni? Is it Dave? You need me to come spray his crusty ass with some raid?"

"I-I finally asked him for a divorce, Lo."

I could hear her yelling in amusement. She put me on speaker so she could run around her apartment.

"YESSSS BITCH!!! I've been waiting for this exact moment. I'm throwing you three different divorce parties. One for the announcement, one for the separation and one for when the divorce is officially finalized. Bitch we going on a divorce tour."

She's deadass too.

"I feel like I've wasted so many years on Dave and you reminded me the type of man he is and I still stayed by his side.
H-He got my couch smelling all musty and shit."

I got married to Dave when I was fresh out of high school. He persuade me to go a local courthouse with him and marry him. He had no ring nor a plan but me being the young naive, person I was. I agreed.

I always dreamt of having this big impeccable wedding, on a beach in Barcelona. Wearing a beautiful custom Vera Wang gown with an elongated train in the back.

Instead, I got married in some kaki shorts and he wore a jean vest.

"Don't take this the wrong way Ni but it's been time and I'm very proud of you regardless. I may joke a lot but I'm going to be there for you every step of this process. If you need me to watch my niece
and nephew at anytime, I gotchu."