Mrs. Avery

Chapter 41

            "Probably not." Larry smiled. And they were quiet while the conversation settled.

            "She doesn't want the things I want." James said quietly.

            "You mean marriage?" Larry asked.

            "Yeah she wants nothing to do with that."

            "What exactly does the marriage mean for you?"

            "That we're going to spend our lives together. The whole thing, no walking away."

            "And if you spent your lives together without a contract, would the value of that lifetime be diminished in any way?"

            James faced relaxed, but he didn't answer.

            "If your answer to that is 'yes' and that's going to stop you from being with her then, yes, I will pursue Agnes because we could be something, if we tried. However, I'd think you're a fucking idiot, if that's the case. Try loving her without conditions. If I have the story correct, she ran away the first time because that exact condition was shoved down her throat. Believing that your family would rather push something on you that you don't like or really believe in, rather than love you as you are is a hard place to be at 18."

            "She was pushing me away months before I proposed."

            "Yeah, do you think that had anything to do with the fact that she was worried about you giving up your dreams to follow her? All while being worried about leaving behind an elderly mother. And it sounds like everyone stopped listening long before she had a chance to detangle the mess and figure out why she was going crazy."

            They were silent and then Larry spoke again after running a hand over his face.

            "James listen, I don't give a fuck what you do. If you aren't going to pursue her that's fine, but do it for the right reasons. Do it because marriage is that important to you and not for some stupid chivalrous bullshit."

            And then Larry went inside and left James in the cold to mull it over. He tried to pin point why marriage mattered to him. He couldn't. He decided he didn't necessarily need to, as Agnes couldn't pin point why she didn't like it for herself. He paced a bit as he tried to reconcile his view with Agnes's and accept her condition and suddenly he felt like she did back then, except he didn't have three people telling him he had to concede. He finally realized who the monsters of that story were.

            He stifled the feeling and went in to join the family. They ate their dinner and everyone retired to the couches for a movie, but Agnes disappeared shortly after the movie started and James grew curious so he followed her. He found her in the laundry room wrapping presents.

            "Shut the door." She said in an aggressive whisper. She was wrapping two identical split picture frames. And he saw the picture of them.

            "What are you doing?"

            "Building a rocket ship." She responded while continuing to wrap the pictures.

            "Is that us?" he asked already knowing the answer.

            "The kids picked the pictures so don't even look at me. I couldn't even find a copy of that one. Guess who had it?"

            "Who?"

            "Katie!" She said excited as she continued to wrap.

            He picked up the unwrapped frame and ran his hand over the pictures. He remembered this. He remembered timing the dip of Agnes and Molly so they would be in identical positions for the picture. He ran his thumb over the hand that Agnes had on the side of his face. It was like he could feel it. And then he knew without a doubt that Larry was right. A chill ran down his neck that raised goose bumps all over his body. He wanted her for himself.

            "I'm so excited to give this to them on Christmas. They picked these out a while ago and I FINALLY got them printed. Ahh I'm excited." She said taking the second frame from him and starting to wrap it.

            "We got some weird kids." He joked.

            "I know," She smiled focusing on the wrapping. "but I like them that way."

            When they rejoined the family the kids were yawning and they ushered them to bed. Larry sent himself to bed and then Agnes and James came downstairs to watch the remainder of the show by themselves.

            "Thank you." James said abruptly while they watched the mouse detective try to free the trapped boy.

            She scrunched her face at him.
             "For everything. I don't say that enough. And then I tell you to relax more like that's an easy thing to do. So thank you for taking care of them... and tolerating me."

            She smiled and shook her head at him. "You're welcome."

            They were silent for a while.

            "When you looked at that picture, did you remember?"

            "Yeah, I remember taking it."

            "No, do you remember what it felt like to kiss each other back then," He paused. "when we were in love."

            She sighed. "Yeah, I do." She turned her head at him, wondering what he was trying to get at.

            He looked at her and started to lean in. She immediately felt drawn to it, but didn't move, even when he hesitated before finally pressing his lips onto hers. And she felt it. The kiss felt the same to her as it did back then. He felt only a tinge of the emotion from her that used to fill his chest. He pushed his lips harder onto hers and felt it slightly more. He wanted it. Even if it was only a slight sensation so he continued to kiss her. When that was no longer enough, he pulled away and grabbed her by her legs (low enough so as not to touch the bruises) and pulled her legs up towards him so she spun with her back to armrest. He then pulled her legs apart and knocked her over with his weight as he opened his mouth against hers again. She pressed her pelvis hard into his and he pressed back. They were like teenagers again... pushing the boundary before actually deciding to have sex. He didn't want this to end and kept pushing into her just to hear the sighs escape her and see the flushing in her face highlighted by the low TV light. He wanted this so bad, but he wanted to feel all of it. He didn't want this reserved version so he kept kissing her hoping to draw it out.

            "MOM!" Liam's voice rang out and feet were hitting the stairs.

            James jumped off of her like he was being electrocuted. Agnes sat up and her eyes got wide. Liam came halfway down the stairs and got his head below the ceiling height.

            "What, baby?" Agnes asked.

            "Can I take a cup of water to my room?" He asked.

            "Half a cup and don't chug it. Small sips."

            "Okay." He came down the stairs and started to collect his water.

            Agnes ran a hand over her face and looked at James. I'm sorry. He mouthed, but he knew that was too close of an incident for her. They were almost caught by the only people they needed to hide it from. He was back to square one. He hated that.