High School Lovers ~L.S.

56

*mention of self harm

"You look great" Marshal sighed out as they stood outside.

Harry folded his arms over his middle, suddenly feeling very self-conscious

"You've grown a lot" Marshal continued

"Your hair is brown now" Harry pointed out

"Yeah.. got sick of my natural blonde.. and yours isn't curly"

"I cut it"

He nods

"I like it. Especially the little ponytail on top. It's cute."

Harry frowned. He didn't want to wear anything that Marshal thought was cute

"What did you bring me out here for?" Harry asked, wanting to get right to the point

"I wanted to apologize"

"What happened, happened. It was almost 10 months ago. It's fine." Harry blew it off

"You said to your friend in the booth that you needed to hear what I have to say, so don't act like this is nothing to you" he frowns

"You heard that?"

"I did, yeah"

Harry looks at his sneakers and taps one nervously on the ground behind his other foot

"Go on, then" he sighs

"I fucked up. Big time. I lost you- and I never wanted to lose you. If I had one wish, and only one, it'd be to go back and never do what I did. It was wrong and... I hurt the only person I ever really loved. You, Harry. So, yeah.. I'm really sorry"

"Thanks for the apology. And you're right, you fucked up. It was wrong. You did hurt me- for months, I was hurt. Miserable. Scared. And alone. So, the apology was great.. But it would never make up for the days, weeks, and months that I spent hurting" Harry scoffs. 

He's embarassed for Marshal. To think that a simple 'i fucked up. sorry' would fix everything, that's just idiotic. He must be an idiot to think that 'whoops' would make it all okay

"I wanna fix the scars on your heart, Harry" he whispered

"You should've been there to fix the ones on my wrists, Marshal. I'm not ever coming back to you. I won't ever love you again." Harry stepped back when the taller boy came forwards

Tears were threatening to fall from Harry's eyes- from anger and sadness.

"Your wrists.." Marshal whisperes

"Yeah. You put me in the deepest, darkest, emotionally damaging hole. I was in so much pain, I couldn't handle it! You fucked up my life, Marshal Woods! You fucked me up"

"I'm so fucking sorry, harry" his voice breaks and Harry suddenly feels guilt

Harry shouldn't be the guilty one. Why does he feel this way?

"What did you ever do with your ring, my love? I miss the way it looked on your pretty hands. I miss the way it shined on your skin" 

"We're nothing anymore. That ring means nothing"

"Did you throw it out?"

"N-no"

"You.. you kept it?"

"I.. It was expensive"

"You kept it, after all these months."

"It cost a lot, Marshal. How could I throw it in the garbage?" Harry tries defending himself, but he can't cover the tears pooling down his cheeks at this point.

He kept it because love never fades. He kept that ring because somewhere, deep down inside, some tiny part of him wished Marshal would walk back through his door and hug him and hold him and kiss him- like he used to.

But that part was over powered by every thought Harry ever had. Every sense of pain caused by Marshal. Every bad memory, every tear, and every sob.

He knew he didn't need or want Marshal anymore- He was just always so hurt because Marshal was his first everything.

Now he has Louis.