𝐅𝐚𝐮𝐱 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬

Chapter 30

Dear Selena,
I have been meaning to tell you something for longer than I can remember. I have tried to suppress this within me and certainly thought that I lost it over the period but you brought them all back again this time. I wonder why?

The ringing in Aariz's ears is loud enough to block his dad who has been asking him which flight to book. He is supposed to sort things out with Selena before leaving. The sizzling of the oil in the frypan, the chopping of a knife against the wooden board. He could imagine all this. But now he can't the colors of his imagination are fading.

"2 am tomorrow or Monday morning?", he repeats gently a few times but when he doesn't hear a response from his son stands just a few meters away from him with his wife rushing into the kitchen to get pack some frozen kebabs in a separate container while the TV pours in the news of increasing COVID cases in Pakistan he screams.

"2 am tomorrow or Monday morning?", this time Aariz blinks breaking the chain of his thoughts with his eyes still staring at the mail on his mobile.

"Tomorrow it be.", he is numb by the university mailing all the foreign students out of blue due to a sudden surge in COVID cases to avoid anyone stuck in their home countries. So he just walks back to his room and pulls the suitcase out from under the bed and throws it open on his bed.

Nuha's ice-frozen trembling hands work hard to separate the kebabs stacked up together while her mom is now busy writing something on a sticky note.

Now that I think about it, I guess I know why my feelings faded away for you for a while. I think it's because somewhere down in the past I got lost on my way. I found myself an addiction - nicotine. And I know how much you hate the whiff of the suffocating smoke. The trails smokers leave behind everywhere they go. I have watched you consciously stop breathing for seconds as you pass through the dark allies of Deira.

The anger makes Aariz's movements a little violent. He pulls his wardrobe open with the door swinging and recoiling back to hit him. His eyes twitch. He pulls his hanging clothes out of the hangers and dumps them into the suitcase. His slippers on the shoe rack, his coats he bought, his shaving set in the bathroom. His hands almost stopped for a moment in front of the mirror as he picks the perfume from the dressing table. This perfume. He places it carefully in between his clothes so that the bottle doesn't break.

As young children, I still remember how we used to hate each other. The jealous you. The jealous me. But then this one time we both planned to chase down Nooran on one Friday night and when we successfully did that I felt like we could be friends. But then you simply stopped playing as if you never wanted to run through the parks with the wind in your black hair. I never understood why but now that I know, those hesitant eyes were the scared eyes with the same desire to play catch and catch.

He walks up to his study to grab his passport and IDs from the drawer, the glimpse of his notebook makes him sit down for a moment. He clicks open a pen to scribble something on it. Click. He puts the pen back closes the notebook and throws it into the suitcase. Nuha enters with a list and car keys. She hands him the list of things he has to get from a Pakistani shop in the area.

"Make sure to call her before you leave.", Nuha eyes the notebook and picks it up to read while Aariz unaware of his sister's move nods and leaves the room. On his way to the lift when he reads the list, all the desi canned foods have been listed.

Society makes the circumstances so tough around the girls that if they don't mature faster they are going to lose it all. Not holding men accountable for anything and making a big fuss about their slightest mistake is outright sexist. I don't know what you have gone through but all I know is that you have come out stronger. The world should be scared of those who have been broken and smashed into million pieces because if they cry their wails reach the skies and rain down the stones on earth and if they don't they become rock-hard to break.