One Day At A Time

Chapter Eleven: The Christmas Party - Part #2

Between blaming Lucas and spilling her heart out with the truth, Lilly chooses to tell the truth, which is easier said than done.

Ava's look of curiosity is still in her eyes, she has to get an answer.

"Ava, I, I did that, because..." Lilly starts, stammering through her sentence. "I did that, because I- because I like you."

"You like me? What do you mean?"
Lilly knew she should've phrased it better, phrased it in a way that couldn't be misinterpreted.

So, she says it again, but with words that are direct and to-the-point.
"I'm in love with you, Ava."

There it is, out in the open.
She finally said it.

Ava doesn't know what to say, she really doesn't.
Her best friend loves her.
Her best friend in the whole wide world is in love with her.

It makes her heart feel something it's never felt before, something she can't put her finger on.
It twists in a way she can't explain no matter how she tries to in her mind.

She thinks about the kiss from just minutes ago.
It felt nice, she'll admit. Really nice.
New, but really nice.

There's something in her that wants it to happen again.
She has her own set of a million thoughts racing through her mind.

"Oh... okay. Um, thanks, thanks for telling me." She says, then goes silent for a second.

Ava wants Lilly to kiss her again, she doesn't know why at all, but she wants to be kissed again.
"Lilly, will you- can you, um, can you kiss me again? Please?"

Ava wants to kiss her again and that blows Lilly's fucking mind.

Lilly looks at Ava and nods her head without any thoughts in her mind.

Their first kiss, both of their first kisses at all, were rough and just... a lot.

So, Lilly is gentler in the way she leans in and rests her hands on Ava's face and pulls her in.

This time, Ava kisses her back with her heart beating quickly and twisting mildly.

She's always been an affectionate person, sometimes to a fault.
Affectionate and sensory-seeking to a fault.

She sees a kiss as the ultimate form of physical affection.
The fact that her best friend is doing that to her makes her mind nearly explode.

When they lean back from each other slightly, Ava's hands had ended up mirroring Lilly's, resting on her face.

They're close together, their faces mere centimeters apart.
"I like that a lot." She says bluntly with a soft smile.
"I do, too." Lilly says, smiling herself.
She's smiling, but there's still anxiousness in the back of her mind. "So, you're not... upset or anything? About me liking you?"

"No, why would I be upset? It makes me happy in a way. I'm happy you love me."

The word, "love" is powerful and strong.
It's a ridiculously strong word.

"I thought you'd be upset, because it would make things, I guess, weird between us." Lilly sighs.
"Things aren't weird. You're still my best friend."

Lilly doesn't know if Ava likes her back, she doesn't know how Ava feels at all, besides the fact that she's not upset one bit.
But tonight has been interesting and a lot for the both of them, she can ask her own questions another time.

Ava has the question of, "Why do you love me?" stuck in her mind.

She goes to ask it, but a knock is heard at Lilly's bedroom door, which causes both of them to flinch and let go of each other.

"You all have been in there for a while. Is everything okay?" Rose asks.
"Yes." Ava answers simply.
"Can we come in? It's boring out here without you guys." Lucas whines.

How long have they been in here?
It doesn't really matter, but both of them are hit with the guilt of leaving their friends out by themselves.
"Yeah, you can come in."

Lucas and Rose enter the room and sit on the carpet with them.
"So, what have you been up to in here?"

Ava and Lilly look at each other, trying to figure out whether to say it or not.
"Talking, we've been talking." Lilly says.

The other half of what they've been doing is stuck in Ava's mind, sticking out wondrously in her brain in front of every other thought.
To her, their kiss, specifically the second one, was something beautiful, something special to be talked about.

Ava looks at Lilly with an almost pleading look in her eyes, a look that's asking for permission to shout from the rooftops, "Lilly kissed me, Lilly kissed me!"

Her best friend loves her and she wants to tell everyone that Lilly kissed her.

She doesn't completely know how to feel with all of this new and confusing yet grand information.

Lilly nods her head at Ava.
"We kissed, too. Twice." Ava says with a smile.

Lucas' eyes go wide as he breathes out,
"Holy shit. Really?" He looks at Lilly.
"Yep."
"Is it because of this jerk's teasing?" Rose asks, gesturing at Lucas.

"He's been teasing you about kissing me?" Ava questions.
"No." Lilly answers quickly.
"Hold on, do they know that you love me?"

That word is strong as ever right now.
It hits Lilly in the gut.
She loves Ava, she's loved Ava for years, and now Ava herself knows that.

Since she's on the path of telling the truth, Lilly nods her head, saying,
"Yeah, they knew."

Ava doesn't know how to feel about that, either.
Her friends knew something about Lilly that she didn't.

That does something to her.

She doesn't know how to feel and her stomach feels weird now, but because it felt so good, she wants to kiss Lilly for a third time tonight.
Her mind is spinning and spinning in many different directions all at once.

She pulls her phone from her pocket and checks the time. It's a little past nine-thirty at night.

"I, I don't want to be a party-pooper, but I think I'm gonna go now. I'm sorry." She says quietly.
"Why? What's wrong?" Lilly asks her hastily.
"I don't know what's wrong." She answers honestly. "There's a lot of thoughts in my head right now. I need to just go home and think some things through, o-okay?"

Ava's voice sounds shaky, everything is too much right now.
Lilly looks like she'd gotten punched in the stomach.
"Oh, okay. Do you want me to drive you home?"
Ava shakes her head.
"No, I can walk."
"It's cold as hell outside." Lucas tells her.
"Your house is also a pretty long walk from here, too." Rose adds.

Ava looks at both of them and says with her shaking voice,
"I'll be fine. I'll, I'll see you guys later."

Ava then looks at Lilly for a long moment before she walks out the door.
She wants to hide from her millions and millions of thoughts and be safe with Lilly.

She wants to hug her as tight as she can and feel at peace with herself, with everything.

But Lilly is the cause of her millions of thoughts.

So, she doesn't hug her.
For the first time in their friendship, she doesn't give Lilly a goodbye hug, nor does she do her usual handshake with Rose.

She walks out Lilly's bedroom door, quickly pulls her coat out of the hall closet, and walks out the Miller's front door.

The walk home is brutal, the cold wind is biting her nose and slipping under her glasses, into her eyes.

Her spine feels like an icicle as she makes her way down the dimly lit street.

Eventually, she makes it home and goes right down the hallway to her bedroom, pulling off her clothes and changing into a pair of pajamas.

She crawls into bed, burying herself under all of her blankets.

She has Odin The Dragon held tightly in her arms.

To say she's internally screaming is the biggest understatement of the century.