Nakatulala lamang ako habang nasa garden ng bagong bahay na tinitirahan namin. We temporarily moved here while they are fixing the old mansion where we used to live. The damage was too big that we can't even stay there for a while. Red was the one managing everything.
"Ritsumi, kumain ka na."
Ever since Axel left that night, wala ng ibang bagay o tao na pumasok sa isipan ko kung 'di siya lamang. Walang oras, minuto o segundo na hindi ko siya iniisip. I am always thinking how is he? Is he doing fine? Is he still in pain? Is he still mad at me? Does he want to see me now? I do have a lot of questions I wanna ask but I can't find any answers to those. I don't have any means of connection to him since he deactivated all of his accounts. Even his new phone number, I don't have it. His Mom didn't give it to me since Axel said so.
"Hey, I am talking to you."
Nabigla na lamang ako nang mag squat si Red sa mismong harapan ko. I am sitting on a chair while looking down on him. He held my hand and gave me a smile.
"Why?"
"Nakatulala ka nanaman. Kumain ka na sabi ko."
"I'm not hungry, Red." I answered saka ko binawi ang mga kamay ko sakaniya.
I looked at the other side at doon tumulala ulit. I heard him giving a sigh but I chose to ignore. They are always reminding me to eat but I can't find my appetite. I lost my interest in everything. Hindi ko na mabilang kung ilang beses na akong hinimatay dahil sa hindi ko pagkain, pagpupuyat at palaging pag tunganga. My father is always mad at me whenever I always end up in the hospital.
"You're too skinny, princess. Please eat." Dad said when he entered into my room. I stood up from my chair and went to bed ignoring him.
Nakahiga lamang ako sa kama ko at hindi na gumalaw. Ultimo pag galaw nang kaunti ay hindi ko na magawa. I'll just move when I to. When I want to go to the garden, when I have to pee and poop. 'Yon lang ang mga dahilan ng kusang pag galaw ko.
I don't eat, I don't drink water, I don't take a shower. Everyone here is telling me that I looked totally different, but I don't care. Just like what I've said, I lost my interest in eveything.
"Hindi mo ba ako kakausapin?" Iritadong tanong ni Daddy. I know his patience getting low because on how I act these past dew days. "Ilang linggo na akong nagtitimpi sa'yo, Ritsumi."
"Dad, just let her."
"Let her?! Tignan mo nga 'yang kapatid mo. Ni hindi na makaligo dahil saan?! Dahil sa putanginang lalaki na 'yon?! I didn't raise this god damn woman just to be like this for one fucking guy!" He shouted that made me looked at him.
Is he bad mouthing Axel? Right in front of me? Really?
"Anong sinabi mo?" I asked while staring badly at him. "Did you just bad mouthed, Axel?"
"So what if I did?" Sarcastic na tanong niya pabalik.
I stood from my bed and even I don't have the energy, I gather all that I have in to my hand and slapped my father's face. Kita ko ang gulat na gulat na mukha ni Red dahil sa ginawa ko. My father's hand is on his cheek holding it while staring at me with his amused eyes. His eyes are glowing like I did something amusing. My father is crazy.
"R-Ritsumi!" Sigaw ni Red sa akin at inilayo niya ako agad kay Daddy but I didn't cut my evily stare at him.
"Don't you dare say bad words about, Axel! Don't you all dare!" Sigaw ko habang nagpupumiglas.
