I went into our room and I saw Axel playing on the pc. I took a deep breathe and I closed the door. Hindi niya pa siguro napapansin na nandirito ako ngayon since he is wearing a headset. I sat on our bed and that was the time that he noticed me. Inalis niya ang headset niya saka siya tumayo at tinabihan ako.
"Bakit ka nandirito? Let's go back down stairs." I said. "Umalis naman na si Luther. It's fine to go do-"
"Mahal mo pa ba siya?" He cut me off.
"H-ha?"
"Mahal mo pa?"
I bit my lower lip and closed my eyes thinking what is the right way to answer. If I answer him yes, he'll get hurt. He'll get more insecure. Maybe he'll get even madder to Luther, and I don't want that to happen. I want him to feel at ease. I want him to feel that I am only for him and he shouldn't feel worried nor insecure about what I had for Luther. If I answer him no, will he believe? Will he trust me that I don't feel anything towards Luther anymore and it's him whom I want to be with?
"Huwag mo na lang sagutin." He said and I opened my eyes.
I saw him standing up and he was about to go back to his gaming chair and ignore me, but I stopped him. I hugged him from behind. Isinandal ko ang ulo ko sa likuran niya at yinakap siya nang mas mahigpit. Sobrang higpit para maramdaman at malaman niya na siya lang ang gusto kong makasama at wala ng iba.
"Hindi na, Axel. Hindi na." I said. "I am here with you. I am here beside you. You are the man whom I chose to marry. It's our engagement day and party and we shouldn't be like this please. Don't be like this to me." Pakiusap ko dahil nararamdaman ko na hindi siya okay sa akin.
Inalis niya ang pagkakayakap niya sa akin saka niya ako hinarap. I looked up at him and he held my cheek. I held his hand and kiss his palm.
"Please, we're fine naman 'di ba?"
"We are." Sagot nito pero parang hindi ako kumbinsido lalo na sa itsura ng mukha nito na para bang kabaligtaran ang sinasabi niya.
Inalis ko ang kamay niya sa mukha ko saka ko siya yinakap.
"Sorry. H-hindi ko naman kasi alam na pupunta siya rito. Galit ka ba sa akin? Please, don't get mad at me, Axel."
My tears started to fall and I don't know why am I crying right now. Am I being emotional? Maybe because of my pregnancy, right? That I feel so sad and in pain thinking that he's mad at me.
"Kung iniisip mo na siya pa rin, hindi na. Hindi na, p-please."
He removed my hands around his waist and he wiped my tears. He kissed my lips and I couldn't kiss him back because of the sobs. Huminto naman ito sa paghalik sa akin saka ako yinakap.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I made you cry." Bulong niya sa tenga ko. "Sorry. Stop crying, please."
"Galit ka ba sa a-akin?"
"I am not, Ayon. You know I can't get mad at you."
"Sure ka? 'Y-yung totoo."
"Opo." Malumanay na sagot niya sa tenga ko.
Humiwalay siya sa akin at pinunasan muli ang mga luha sa mata ko. He is smiling now and his face is not the same as a while ago.
"Hush now. I am not mad. I just got pissed with that man."
I felt a sting in my heart by the way he addressed Luther. Pakiramdam ko kasalanan ko ang lahat kung bakit umabot sila sa ganito. They were bestfriends since they were kids. Hindi mapag hiwalay, laging magkasundo sa lahat, but in an instant, it became like this. Everything has changed. The person whom he called best friend turned to a person he hates the most. I know the kind of hate that he has now for Luther is not that low level. Axel is the kind of person who doesn't get mad to anyone. Kaya alam kong matinding galit ang nararamdaman niya sakaniya.
