Until Forever

Part 2 - Chapter 10

Slowly, Bidam's crazed eyes turned towards him, and San Tak reflexively stepped back, fear savagely twisting his guts. San Tak knew of Bidam's violent outbursts and seeing his master's hand instinctively going to the sword's handle sent shivers down his spine. But Bidam's sword arm relaxed as his shoulders slumped down, his eyes finally focusing on San Tak. A soft, sad smile came into his handsome face. Shaking his head, Bidam walked towards San Tak, his hand casually resting on the other man's shoulder.

"You go on ahead. I still have unfinished business here," Bidam said, his voice barely above a whisper.

San Tak was about to ask what that 'unfinished business' was when Bidam spoke again.

"I need to deliver my report to the Queen. I'm sure she's waiting for me," Bidam said in his strange, lifeless voice, his feet moving again towards the path.

San Tak's insides turned cold as he realized that his master was worse than he'd thought. He seemed oblivious to what really happened in the mountain fortress. Swallowing his fear, San Tak moved closer to his master and tried again to engage him in conversation.

"But, My Lord, you cannot go there now. You'll surely be arrested! Please, let's do this another day. We can send an emissary to the Queen later."

Bidam looked down at him and smiled his sad smile of resignation.

"No. I have to do it now. I will just speak with her."

"Then I'll go with you, my Lord."

"No. I have to do this alone."

"But, my Lord," San Tak's protestation was cut short when Bidam turned and grabbed him by the shoulder.

"No! You can't come with me. I must go alone!"

San Tak shook at the vehemence in the other man's words. Bidam's gaze softened when he apparently felt San Tak's terror. Then, his hand moved inside his tunic and took out a large, tasselled gold badge. His arm stretched towards San Tak.

"Take this with you. I'm sure this will fetch a good price wherever you go. It will be enough to get you started."

San Tak looked down at the badge and gasped as he recognized it to be the one that was given to Bidam when he became the Sangdaedung, the official emblem of his office. Shaking his head, San Tak stepped back and refused the offering.

"Please, this is the least that I can do for you. I wish I could give you more but this is all I have left. You've been a good and loyal soldier and you don't deserve to share my fate," Bidam said as he took San Tak's hand and placed the badge in his open palm.

"Go now, before they find us. Go far away from here, as far as you can go. And never, ever look back. Sell your sword and buy a plow or a spade. Start over and live your life peacefully. Don't take up a sword ever again. Unlike me, your fate hasn't been decided for you yet. You can still live your own life."

San Tak's heart clenched as he comprehended what his master intended to do. Bidam had not lost his mind; he knew exactly what he would be facing once he got to the Queen's camp. His admiration and pride for his master's courage soared inside him and he clutched the badge close to his chest. But still, he must try one last time to dissuade the Sangdaedung from his set path.

"Why don't you come with me then, my Lord? We could go far away from here. We could start over and become farmers. Take peasant wives and have dozens of children," San Tak chuckled nervously, desperately trying to inject humor into their situation.

Bidam shook his head and smiled dejectedly at him, his hand absently caressing the hilt of his sword.

"It's too late for me, San Tak. I cannot run away anymore. And I cannot undo what I've done. I've accepted my fate. I just want to see her one more time."

"Who, my Lord? Who is it that you must see?"

Bidam turned towards the direction of the camp and sighed. "Someone I've hurt and let down so terribly, someone who means the world to me. I need to ask her forgiveness."

San Tak at last understood. His master's torment did not come from their coup's failure but from his regret at losing the Queen. Rumor has it that the marriage between the Sangdaedung and the Queen was for political purposes only, but now, seeing the pain and remorse in his master's eyes, San Tak knew that it was the farthest thing from the truth. Lord Bidam really did love the Queen.

With one last nod in his direction, Bidam turned away from him and continued on towards the Queen's encampment.

San Tak wanted to follow his master but he felt compelled to respect his wishes. As he looked at the Sangdaedung's retreating form, San Tak went down on his knees and gave his last salutation to his master. He knew that it would be the last time that he would be doing such a thing. He would go far, far away, and live in obscurity; away from the nobles, away from the intrigues and politics of the capital.

After a while, San Tak got up on his feet and gave another last bow to his master. He stashed the badge inside his tunic and turned the opposite direction to start his own journey, determined to fulfil his master's final instructions.

The first arrow that hit him squarely in the chest caught him by surprise. The pain did not even register in his brain until he saw the wooden shaft protruding from his body. He looked up to see the origin of the deadly projectile and panic immediately shot through him as he saw the platoon of soldiers purposely bearing down on him.

Instinct told him to run to the trees and seek shelter for himself but his sense of duty urged him to alert his master to the imminent danger first. He twisted around to shout his warning but as three more arrows slammed into his back, effectively slicing through his ribcage and puncturing both lungs, the scream that should've issued from his lips came out as a violent yet soundless spray of blood and air.

Strangely, as he slowly fell down this lonely, dusty road that lay just beyond the shadow of Myeongwhal Sanseong, he felt no regret or grief for himself. What he felt was sorrow at the hopelessness of his master's fate.

And so when he looked up, and his rapidly blurring eyes caught sight of Bidam's trademark battle stance with his drawn sword glinting defiantly against the morning light, the dark gloom that enveloped his heart was lifted. Definitely a most beautiful sight for a fallen soldier like him and it made his heart swell with pride.

That's it, my Lord. Give them hell and avenge us all, he thought before he finally gave in to the darkness and quietly breathed his last.