30- FONDLY

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For the first time in Bruce Wayne's life a dilemma outside of being the Batman was worrying him to the point where he couldn't think straight.

Bruce stared up at the ceiling in his room, he was still in a state of shock, his mind was caught in a constant loop of last night, replaying every little moment and significant action. His mouth was dry, and eyes heavy drowsiness. Sleep had evaded him, he had at the very least gotten 5 hours. But how could he when he couldn't think straight? Metaphorically, and literally.

"Batman -i-i." Joker mumbled quietly. Bruce remembered leaning without any hesitation, the feeling of want overcame him. He could recall the Joker's wide eyes as their lips nearly touched, Bruce could even swear he'd heard the teenager's heartbeat, it was quick and irregular. There was no denying that both men were reciprocating the same feelings, the passion in the atmosphere had swept them up, lured them into excitement and almost led them to do something unthinkable.

"Fuck!" Bruce muttered, as he lay in bed. He nearly stopped breathing when he realised how dangerously close he was to kissing the teenager. If Alfred hadn't walked in at that very moment, who knows what would have happened?

"Oh god." Bruce said out loud. I was going to kiss the Joker! I was going to kiss the Joker! How the fuck did that happen? A million questions were swarming around in his head, all questions that filled him with much doubt.

For one Bruce wondered why he was unable to pull away, why was so entranced and excited by being so close to the Joker or why he was so angry when Alfred had walked in?

I was angry, I was actually angry. Bruce couldn't believe it. He had felt immense frustration upon his butler entering and stopping the act when he should have been grateful. Alfred had stopped him but relief and gratitude was far from what he felt, quite frankly the idea of him kissing the Joker wasn't as bad as he had imagined it to be, if anything he was more open to the idea. But that worried Bruce very much, his eagerness and lack of restraint, in a normal situation he would have been able to pull away from any woman's kiss and stop a mistake that big. But then again, there was nothing normal about this situation.

For one the Joker was a man, the same gender as Bruce. And secondly it was the Joker, who wasn't exactly a model example of "normal"

What if I'm gay? Could I be gay? Bruce began to question himself.

Am I gay? No, no. I can't be. He followed up. Bruce was adamant, confident even in his own sexuality. For all his life women had been his type, blondes, brunettes, red heads, light skin, and dark skin. Pretty much anything that was a woman! Men didn't exactly fit that description. Bruce had never even had an experience romantically outside of women, although with the Joker he did indefinitely feel something.

But with the Joker it was different from his usual type of hot super model. The Joker was wholesome, Bruce found himself attracted to his mind along with his physical attributes. He could only describe the teenager's face as charming and adorable. The Joker had kind eyes, that were soft and gorgeous colour. His smile put Bruce in daze that was unlike any other. In fact, Bruce had not felt like this in a long time, the deep feelings of butterflies jumping around in his stomach were always there when Bruce talked to the Joker, it had been an overlapping feeling and he couldn't control it regardless what gender the Joker was.

It's that fucking smile, that smile is what got me.

Bruce noticed he was smiling now and quickly frowned. He was frustrated by his actions, he couldn't feel this way towards somebody like the Joker, he wasn't allowed to!

"I'm Batman, I don't have time to be crushing over a 17-year-old boy." He sighed. Bruce then groaned almost immediately at the sudden realisation. It sounded worse now that his thoughts were out in the open.

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