First And Last

12- Understanding

It's been 15 long minutes and no word from Taehyung.

Jungkook is staring at his phone intensely as his leg bounces, impatient. Jimin watched and tried to count every bounce off his leg, but it was too fast and too anxiety-inducing. Something about having to wait in silence was not helping the overthinking.

Jungkook did not want to talk about his thug life, and that's the only thing Jimin was willing to talk about, so instead, they sat in unnerving silence.

The blond was going to lose it. He never sat in silence for more than five minutes. When he drove, his favorite music played, when he danced, he danced to music and it was always on loop even when he stopped to take a breath. At the coffee shop, Heechul set up speakers for ambiance music and Jimin played his lofi playlist. When he plays online with Hoseok, there's soft music in the background for those silent loading screens. Everywhere he goes, he brings his headphones.

The silence to him was deafening. It made every thought louder, every insecurity surface, every single worry expanding onto panic.

Jimin could not stand the noise silence brought. The worst part? Sometimes the silence froze him, to be silent with it.

Jungkook had this feeling rise in his chest, a heavy one. He turns to Jimin, who looks absolutely out of it. The younger boy feels guilty. He sees the way Jimin's hands shake as he rubs them.

With a sigh, Jungkook rubs his face, setting his phone down in front of his feet as he is sitting across from Jimin on the floor, leaving the comfy cushion on the worn-down couch for the older. "I was born into a pretty good family."

Jimin raises his head, the younger sees the way is a bit red as if holding back the tears.

"My dad was a banker and my mom was a teacher," Jungkook starts playing with his rings as he sits crisscrossed. He knew if he opened up his boy while speaking, he'd look less guarded. "Everything was pretty good, ya know? My family was doing fairly well and my brother was doing really good in school, passing his entrance exams and all that."

A brother? Jimin's shoulder let up as he realized he knew nothing about a brother other than Taehyung, who wasn't actually his brother.

"I wasn't ever good with school. I just got distracted a lot, mostly bored. I spent my time writing music on math worksheets and lyrics for English homework. Doodling in science and ignoring sketches for art and drawing up tattoo ideas instead." Jungkook shrugs, looking away from Jimin as if he was embarrassed. "I wasn't a perfect student, but I did every single test and quiz that I needed in order to pass. I was just sixteen, ya know?"

Jungkook chuckles as he begins messing with his hair out of embarrassment, at this, Jimin pulls away from his knees from his chest and sits up straight. "Yeah, you don't really worry about what you'll do."

"Exactly." Jungkook raises his eyes and the two lock eyes. There's something new the younger has never seen in Jimin's eyes: sympathy. Jungkook looks away before continuing. "I got home one day from school, a lot of my bags were at the front door, my room was stripped, my brother was nowhere to be seen, and my parents sat at the dinner table, papers in front of them." Jungkook sighs and shrugs. "I wasn't good enough. I wasn't doing good enough. Well... I wasn't doing as well as Junghyun. They had signed papers giving me up to the system, but they hadn't turned them in. Had an ultimatum for me."

"What was it?" Again, the two lock eyes, and this time, Jimin's eyes are filled with sadness.

"Move overseas and be in a restricted boarding school. Military, pursue the career of a soldier." The boy smiles sadly. "Worked with my uncle, they thought it would work for me as well."

"So did you do it?"

Jungkook chuckled and looks up and this time, Jimin smiles at his response, "I'm here, aren't I?"

Jimin drops down from the couch, sitting across from Jungkook, closing the distance between them as their feet almost touched. "What did you do?"

"I knew they just didn't wanna look at me until I was better, and I knew myself enough to know I would not be good enough even if I went." The boy sighs, his head dropping as he thinks back to the day, his hair falling over his eyes. "I begged and begged to stay."

Jimin frowns. "You wanted to stay?"

Jungkook looks up and this time, neither looks away. "Did you think I ran away?"

The blond slowly nods, ashamed he thought so little of his soulmate.

"What kind of son would I have been if I didn't want to stay with my family?" Jungkook stares at Jimin with intensity, he feels his phone buzz in his pocket and decides to ignore it. "I refused to leave and I wanted to stay. I went to school the day after, thinking things were back to normal. I came back home, only to find it empty, all my things by the trash."

Jimin senses the pain as the two stare at each other, as Jungkook awaits an answer. "I'm sorry, you must have been so scared."

Jungkook smiled as he pulled out his phone, "I'm sorry too. Maybe if I had gone abroad, you would have gotten someone better than me as your soulmate."

Before Jimin can say something, Jungkook is up on his feet. He didn't want to go, he wanted to ask more about Jungkook's life, he wanted to know more about what he liked, what made him happy despite it all. If only he knew.

"We're clear, let's head back."

The walk back was silent, Jimin had nothing but more questions. How long was Jungkook in the streets by himself? Has he seen his family since? What happened to them? Did he have no other family?

Jungkook meanwhile felt relieved telling Jimin his story. He hadn't told anyone his story since Yoongi and Taehyung, he figured they'd tell the other his story in a less emotional way. But telling his soulmate of his past, seeing the way there was a sense of understanding from him, it felt good.

The two get to their cars and Jimin looks pained.

"Everything alright?"

Jimin nods quickly pausing as he looks away, and then shakes his head. "I'm sorry for how I acted. I didn't know."

"Hyung," Jungkook, without thinking, raises his hand towards Jimin's face. Before the older can see, he retracts his hand and pats his shoulder. "It's okay, now you know."

Jimin shyly nods as he motions for his car. "I should get going before Hobi starts to get worried."

The younger smiles, but a pain in his chest makes him want to stay with Jimin for longer. "Yeah..."

"Hey um," Jimin stops before he opens his car door, smiling at the younger. "You should invite your brother--"

"Not my brother."

"Right, Taehyung, to hang out with Hobi." Jimin scratches the back of his neck. "I think it'd be fun, the four of us, I mean."

Jungkook smiles, and he's not used to feeling his cheeks rising in contentment this way. "Yeah, for sure, I'll let him know."

Jimin gets in his car and motions at his phone.

Right, he'll text me.

Jungkook watches as Jimin drives away and sighs, getting in his own car and wishing he had waited a little longer to spend more time with his soulmate.