The Prince's Compass♡~Killugon/Gonkillu Fanfic~♡

-Another Morning-

I'm SO sorry for such a late update everyone! I've had a lot of family stuff going on and very little time to write.
Please enjoy the new chapter❤️

In the following mornings I found myself being showered in affection. Kisses on the cheek, hand holding, playful love taps, etc.
I somewhat acknowledged how much I had been enjoying these things, but guilt filled my chest every time he showed me such love. I couldn't take his life, I knew for certain I didn't want to, but what other choice did I have? Our situation seemed nearly helpless.

With all of these things aside, a question weighed down on me. Like the guilt, this question only grew within the following days. No matter how much I tried to repress such unwanted feelings, they always seemed to come back.
No matter how hardly I wished.

Was it okay to decide?

It didn't feel right to. I hated to be in the middle of it all. The kingdom. Alluka. Gon. Should I get to choose who lives and who dies? It was unjust. If I chose Gon, my kingdom would crumble and Alluka would die. If I chose my family and kingdom, Gon would die and with that his kingdom. It had been months of trying to decide and it hadn't gotten any easier.
Gon was okay with dying but that didn't make it okay for me to take his life.

But among those emotions, another came to surface.
Love.
An odd feeling, a feeling I didn't always enjoy being stuck with. I knew nothing of being in love and what to do with those emotions. I was thankful Gon let me make mistakes, he even encouraged them; but it still seemed wrong.
I didn't know when to reach for his hand or to place a kiss on his cheek like the way he knew. It always seemed like the right time whenever he acted on desire.
But even with his courage, we hadn't shared a kiss since I was brave enough to do so. Part of me regretted that moment of impulse because of all of the emotions that had broke loose since then.

It was a foolish thing to fall in love under such circumstances, but it was too late.
I found myself wanting more and more of him. So many things were left unsolved but that didn't seem to interfere with the feelings Gon had for me, and the actions he took to prove so.
I couldn't wrap my head on how willing he was to give it all up.
All for me.

How could anyone fall for someone like me? How could someone as wonderful as him see any good in me? Someone sent here to take his life.
I found comfort in not being the only idiot in this situation.
What kind of person falls for their assassins? But worst yet, what kind of assassin falls for his target...

Emotions I never thought I'd live to feel were now all I could feel. I woke up with a giddy feeling, an excitement for the day to come.
Before I met Gon, I had never felt like that before.

"Morning Killua!" He greeted from across the room one early summer morning.

"Good morning Gon..." I responded, already flustered by his smile.
I walked over to the seat next to him and rested my head in my hands. I found myself falling in and out of sleep due to the lack of rest I had gotten the night before.
Suddenly, I felt a warm hand cup my face and place my head on his shoulder.

"I'll wake you when the sun rises."

I allowed myself to sink into the comfort that was Gon. Everything about him was safe to me. How could I ever rid the world of him...?

"....Killua, the sun is rising now.."
He gently shook me awake and I opened my eyes to be greeted with the rising sun. The same sun I have been gazing at with him for almost a year. I've spend a whole year by his side. I could barley fathom how lucky I had been as the sun rays warmed my face.

"...We're running out of time..." I said quietly.

He then reached for my hand.
"I know..."
I could feel tears stinging the back of my eyes. It was so unfair.
I didn't get to choose.
I shouldn't get to choose.
I will not choose.

"Gon."
I felt him look down at me as he hummed in response.
"I want you. But I can't have you at someone else's expense."
I lifted my head to look him in the eyes.
"We need a solution. I won't let you die. I will find a solution and we can live together."
I interlocked our fingers.
"Just like we were meant to..."

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry your father has put you in charge of deciding. But I need you to know-"
He looked deep into my eyes.
"Want and need are very different. I'm sure you want me to live but that might not be what needs to happen..and I can't make that choice for you. So, whatever you may choose, I will be there to support you. Even if I am to die at your hands, I will support you."

"But-"

"No matter what happens in the near future, my feelings for you will never change."
He was too stubborn to disagree with.

"...I understand."

And so we spend another morning together, hoping this would all be over tomorrow.