The Prince's Compass♡~Killugon/Gonkillu Fanfic~♡

-You and I-

Hi my precious little lads!!

We got a long chapter today with a song, I'll comment under a paragraph on where to start listening!!

Enjoy❤️❤️

It's been almost two weeks since I was able to remove Illumis needle and things have been so quiet. I no longer had a voice screaming at me. I no longer felt so anxious. It was freeing.
I sent a letter to my father almost immediately after, explaining the situation. He wrote back saying he had no idea Illumi had done that, and that he'd try to keep an eye on Alluka. I wasn't expecting much from my father, I just wanted Illumi to bud out. This was my mission. Father chose me.
I had a feeling Illumi would never forgive me for fathers choice.

Knowing father would keep an eye on Alluka only put away some of my worries. Of course they could always use her against me in the future, so there was no use getting my hopes up. As long as Alluka was still at home, she wasn't safe.
I needed a plan to help her. But above all, I needed a plan to help Gon.
Things hadn't been easy since he confessed. A looming silence always fell over us. It became so unbearable, I would lie and say I had a meeting just to leave.

I enjoyed my time with him, but I now couldn't spend more than half an hour in the same room with the prince.
All until a gloomy afternoon.
I received a couple dings from the prince through our communication devises. Despite our current situation, this was still my job.

I walked over to his room and knocked twice until I heard a quiet "come in" from inside. As I entered the atmosphere I dreaded, he beckoned me to sit.
My whole face began to heat up as I took the seat across from him.
"What can I assist you with?"
I kept my head down in fear of meeting his gaze.

"This isn't about me."
His tone was cold and had some sort of growl to it. It was enough to make my eyes shoot up from where I was looking. His face was almost new.
I hadn't looked into his eyes in what felt like ages. To meet them, to have my own eyes locked with his, felt disturbingly unfamiliar. I didn't like how distant we had become. I didn't like how hollow his eyes seemed to be.
Only then did I realize how much I had missed him, and how much life our relationship had given me.

Maybe I didn't miss him, but I missed how he made me feel.
In that moment, I wanted to hold him close to my chest, so close we would blend together. We would become one. It was an odd feeling and it easily made itself at home on my chest. It almost felt like my chest was being ripped open.

"I ruined things between us. I put my feelings before anything else and I ruined things. I should have thought more about you and how you were feeling, that wasn't the time to be so honest. It was selfish. I put you in the same position I was trying to get you out of."
He took a deep sign but it couldn't keep his voice from trembling.
"You were and are my whole world and I ruined it. You're the first one to stay. You're the first one to care. And I ruined it!"
Tears finally broke through his disguise and bursted from within him.
Feelings of pity and passion clouded my judgment as he sat on the other side of the table, crying into the palms of his hands. Only after a few minutes did I realize, even if we were to be more, I was his friend first. And that's who I would continue to be for him. I leapt out of my seat to comfort him.
He pushed away at first, but I pressed. I pressed and pressed him to my chest. And for a moment, for a second in time, we were one.

We stayed like that for a long while. I couldn't be the one to push away first. Maybe because I wanted to be a good person and comfort someone in pain; but it was more likely I wanted to feel his warmth in my arms for as long as possible.
I let him cry. I let him shake. I let him cling to me. But I wanted him to. It felt so nice to be the one he relied on.

After a long time, he finally seemed to stop crying, and pulled away.
"....My offer still stands...you can kill me. I'm okay if my life ends here. I think I'm okay with it. I did everything I wanted to. I got to fall in love and even confess my feelings!"
He whipped at his tears with the knuckle of his index finger.
"There's not much more to life after that..."

"...What if that person shared those feelings..."
I wasn't sure what I was saying.
"Would life still be just as meaningless..?"

His eyes drew out a side of myself that I didn't recognizes. A side that made me lean down closer.

"What exactly are you getting at..?" He whispered. Our faces were so close I could feel his warm breath gently brush against my cheeks. His once empty eyes now burned a bright hazel.
My heart pounded so loudly in my ears, I could barley hear what he had said.

Something within me wanted to lean and close the gap between us. Things like pity or passion seemed so distant. All I wanted in that moment was to feel his warm lips interlock with mine.
For the first time in forever, I listened to my own thoughts, and gently placed my lips on his.

Though it was unclear at the time—
It was in that moment I had fallen in love with him too.