One Day At A Time

Chapter Two: Linger

Lilly's small... not-so-small, crush on Ava had started the summer before seventh grade at the annual Renaissance Fair.

The Renaissance Fair is considered one of Ava's favorite places in the entire world, even though she's only been once.

It made her ecstatic.
It was probably the one place where she was alright with it's loud noises.
She was happy that so many other people were happy about dragons and knights and princesses the same as she was.

Though, Lilly doesn't remember the loud noises of other people at the fair.

She remembers vividly the fluttery feeling in her chest when Ava excitedly grabbed her hand and took off running towards a booth filled with plush dragons and wooden swords.

It wasn't a new thing, Ava held Lilly's hand anytime they were in a place where they could get lost.

But this time, something new formed in Lilly's mind when their hands touched.

Nevertheless, Ava never stopped smiling that day, she was grinning so much that her cheeks were achey by the end of it.

She also never let go of Lilly's hand, which caused Lilly a whirlwind of confusing and new emotions.

After running around with their hands clasped together all day, Lilly went to bed that night, internally screaming with the plush dragon that Ava had insisted on buying her held tightly in her arms.

Now, they're both in the beginning of their junior year of high school.
It's been roughly four years since that visit to the Renaissance Fair and Lilly's... small crush had grown into a pretty big crush, more than a crush at that.

She's tried subtly telling Ava how she feels, but it hasn't worked out too well.

Things like ending every goodnight text with a heart, hugging her noticeably tighter than any of their other friends, and giving her any heart shaped thing she can find, hasn't really worked out so far.

It may be because she's autistic, but Ava hasn't picked up on any of the hints or gestures.

She sends a heart to Lilly in response out of habit and she worries every time whether or not she has to find something to give to her in return.
The idea of getting little gifts, "just because" still doesn't make sense to her.

And no matter what, Ava is always very happy about all the tight hugs she gets from Lilly.

Though, she sees all of these gestures as platonic, as normal best friend things.

Lilly has almost confessed her feelings to Ava, getting so close to saying it, but every time, she backs out at the last second, changing the subject to something completely unrelated.

Ava's eyes are stuck on the TV screen, but every few minutes, she looks at Lilly.

Lilly has been watching Ava play, "Skyrim" since sixth grade and after playing it for so long, you'd think it would get boring for Ava to play and for Lilly to watch, but that couldn't be further from the truth.

By now, Ava has played through every quest at least once, tried out all the DLC's, and has even been experimenting with mods as of recently.
It's a huge source of comfort for her, she'll never get bored of it.

Lilly has never gotten bored of watching it, because Ava makes every new play-through interesting.
She creates characters with their own backstories and motivations when she plays and she talks about the character as she's playing them.

Her imagination, her creativity when playing is why it's never been boring to watch her play.

Lilly thinks about telling Ava how she feels right now.
They're in private, she could say it.

As if on cue, Ava turns to her and asks curiously,
"Are you okay? What are you thinking about?"

But like every other time, Lilly backs out before her nerves have the chance to take over.
"Nothing."
"Okay." Ava says simply.

At six o' clock, Lilly has to go home.
When she tells this to Ava, she's met with a disappointment groan.
"Can you stay for... five more minutes?"
"No, I'm sorry. I want to stay longer, but we have school tomorrow." Lilly says, standing up.

Ava puts her arms out and Lilly fits into them.
Lilly gives her a tight squeeze for the same reason she does her handshake with Rose, out of routine.
Out of routine and the constant want to be hugged tightly.

After a few long seconds, Lilly let's go of her and slowly walks out of Ava's bedroom door, lingering in the doorframe for a second or two.

She really wishes she could stay longer.