Mum is back from her work trip now even though she was there for just over 2 weeks instead of 1 because she had other things to sort out.
Michael snitched and told mum about my nightmares, I'm not mad though because i know he just wants the best for me. Last time this happened there wasn't a positive outcome; but it just makes me feel so silly. At my big age? Nightmares?
Anyways, now i have to take these stupid sleeping pills.
They just make me feel tired and moody for the whole day, that's why i don't like taking them.
But anyways it's a Friday now and i'm not really sure what to do. Michael wants me to go to this party with him but i don't know.
It's not everyday party you know? Plus i'm not really up to it.
I checked my phone and it was a message from Kai.
Kai😚
U good princess?
Me
Heyy, yeah i'm alright, you?
Kai😚
You sure?
Me
Yess
Kai😚
Baby don't lie to me
Michael told me you've not been feeling good?
Me
I don't really know how to explain it i'm sorry.
Kai😚
It's okay baby don't stress it
Do u want me to come over?
Me
Yes pls.
Kai😚
Aight see you in 5❤️
Me
❤️❤️
I don't want him to think i'm a weirdo or something, things have been like this on and off since my dad died and i don't know how to cope.
***
There was a knock at my bedroom door.
"Come in!" I yelled lowly.
"Hey darling" Kai came to sit on my bed.
"I bought your favourite snacks." He showed me a Sainsbury's bag containing of Sensations, White Bueno, Strawberry Lances and KA.
"Awww, thank you so much Zakai." I almost cried and reached out to hug him.
The way nobody has done that for me before. I cant believe he even remembered.
"It's all good bae." He hugged me back.
"Let's watch something then." He grabbed the remote.
"The Originals please."
"You love off that show man." He chuckled.
"Don't lie, you love it too." I sniggered.
"Ay, don't watch my ting init." He sighed causing me to laugh.
"Reduce the volume a bit man I have a headache." I kissed my teeth.
"Yo, chill it's not even that loud." He looked shocked.
"Sorry."
He paused the show.
"Aight Dami what's really going on?"
"Nothing." I looked a way from him.
He pulled my face back towards him by my chin.
"Listen, as your boyfriend, i'm supposed to protect you, support you, and i should be able to help you. I cant do all those things if you don't allow me. Please tell me baby." He pleaded.
I started tearing up as i spoke and he held my hands.
"After my dad passed, I would get these terrible dreams where i would be the cause for my fathers death and i would get blamed for it and tortured by everyone i love. Recently, it's been coming back and i've been prescribed sleeping pills but they make me really moody and tired all the time. I hate taking it but i took them today because it's really the only thing that keeps me going, which is why i was being a bit mean, sorry it's not intentional i promise." I explained.
"Baby im honestly so tired like mentally, i cant do it anymore. Everyday i'm constantly drained of my mentality and it's so tiring. Nothing helps but these fucking pills that make me feel like absolute shit." Kai pulled me into his chest as i sobbed and ranted about everything that has been going on in my head.
He kept telling me the most random things even silly and senseless jokes just to get my mind off the things that's been troubling me.
The stuff that used to make me laugh as well but i'm too tired to even crack a smile.
"Dami, i promise you everything is going to be fine. I know you don't believe me now, but trust me. Please?" He said as he traced his finger along my stomach.
I nodded my head whilst rubbing his chest.
"What do you mean trust me?" I sat up.
He sat up a little bit and sniffed, trying to cover the fact that he was tearing up a little.
But i could tell and i kissed him to let him know that it's okay.
"Well, I lost my dad too when i was 12." He stared at his lap.
"Kai i'm so sorry." I held his hand.
"What was he like?"
"He was chill most of the time, really serious about school though which is why i'm top in most classes. He taught me to keep going. If there's something I want, I need to work hard for it. That's how i got you init."
I blushed a little.
"He allowed me to be free and find myself. I miss him so much man. But i'm not gonna say that it gets better, because it doesn't. You just learn to live with it better. Don't let it affect you too much. Rather than thinking of it as a loss, think of it as a gain in heaven."
Wow. What wise words.
This man never fails to lift my mood.
Kai has never opened up to me like this. He's never talked about his family. I would ask sometimes but he brushed it off so i never pushed him.
I sat on his lap and crossed my legs around his torso while giving him a big hug.
"I love you princess." Kai whispered into my ear.
"I love you too baby." I kissed his neck.
