Beacon Hills She-Wolf

Chapter 15: Friends.

A/N: Sorry it took me longer tham usual to update, but I was trying to do something different, and writing emotional scenes is hard for me because I'm not a very emotive person. So, here's another extra chapeter, which is basically fluff, angst, and Carolinne being a robot with anxiety. It's also one of the most cringeworthy things I've ever written, but I decided ro give it a try anyway.
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Derek was still staring blankly at his bloodied hands. Boyd was dead; he'd killed Boyd, he'd killed his own Beta. The body was no longer there, and neither were the people that had been surrounding them. But he could still see, could still hear Boyd dying right in front of him, and his hands would be forever covered in the teen's blood. He could hear Scott's words, from the day he'd warned Erica, Boyd, and Isaac not to take the Bite, echoing in his head and God knows they should have listened. But they had chosen to stick to him, and now 2 of them were dead.

He hadn't noticed her come in, but suddenly he felt delicate yet firm hands taking his trembling ones and he was staring at deep hazel eyes and a sad, sympathetic smile instead of the cold emptiness of the apartament. She dipped their laced hands in the water and carefully washed over the blood crustled on his skin. Once she finished that, she got on her feet again, helped him up, and started looking for a drainer.
-What are you doing? -He asked with a sigh. She stopped walking arround and turned to him.
-Someone needs to clean this mess. And you could use some company.
-I'll take care of this, you can go home.
-I don't want to.
-Just go away, Carolinne... -He brought hid hands to the back of his neck, looking everywhere but at her.
-I'm not going anywhere until I know you're ok.
-I'm fine.
-No, you're not. I'm not empathetic, but I'm not blind either. And I'm not that insensitive.
-I said I'm fine. -He sat on the edge of the bed. He just wanted to be alone, was that too much to ask? Appearently yes, because instead of just giving up, she sat right next to him.
-And I can listen to your heartbeats. I know you're lying. And I'm not leaving. Why would I?
-Because I'm telling you to. -Was all he said. But really, what he thought was: "Because everyone leaves. Everyone either dies or stabs me in the back."  -Because I want you to.
-Do you, really?

He wanted to say yes, but his voice just wouldn't come out. Because honestly, no, he didn't. He didn't want her to leave, and he didn't actually want to be alone, but he absolutely didn't want her to see him so broken either.
-I'll take your silence as a "no". -She finally said. And he didn't argue, because she wasn't wrong. -You know, it's ok to be vulnerable, and it's ok to let people be there for you when you need it. -She placed a hand on his shoulder and he turned his face away from her gaze, feeling his throat tighten each second that went by. He tried to focus on something else, but his mind kept coming back to Boyd, to the crushing guilt that was killing him on the inside, to her cold hand on his shoulder. Her skin was always cold; he remembered one time, back when they were "toghether", when he'd made a comment about that, to which she responded saying that it was a reflection of her soul, and later on, she'd proved to be right. But right now, her soul didn't seem cold at all; a cold person wouldn't be there with him.

He was thinking about that when her freezing palms moved gently to his face, and he couldn't help but lean into the touch. Carolinne took that as a sign that she was allowed to go further, so she did. Without hesitating, she pulled him into a hug, preparing herself to ignore his complaints. And the complaints never came; to her surprise, he just let her hold him, and she was rather confused by the sudden change in his attitude, but kept going anyway. She tried talking.
-You didn't kill him.
-Yes, I did. -The way his voice cracked alarmed her. Carolinne... Never handled tears very well (and her friends will never let her forget that time when she said the kid was broken; but come on, she was 6 years old!).
-No, you didn't, Kali and the twins did! They used your claws as a weapon, but they are the ones responsible for Boyd's death, not you. -She was praying to all the Saints who could hear her that he didn't cry.
-I can feel it. -There was the crack again, oh, please, Virgin Mary! -His power, I stole his power and I can feel it.
-You didn't steal it, someone else forcefully made you take it.
-It doesn't matter, I can still feel it.

Appearently God was taking the day off, because that was the last thing he said before breaking down, and it torn her heart to pieces. The heart she'd once believed to be unbreakable. And it would have already been bad enough if this was Lydia, or Alli, or Stiles, or Scott, but it was Derek. Derek "Sourwolf-brooding-stoic-unemotional" Hale. Him sheding tears wasn't something she'd thought she' EVER witness, because, seriously, he didn't-- Oh, come on, Carolinne! Aren't you the one who hates stereotypes? Ok, focus. Don't panic. What would Daisy Marie Parker (aka Goddess of sweetness, comfort, delicacy, softness and cuteness) do? Not act like a robot, that's for sure. Jesus Christ, Carolinne hated not knowing what to do almost as much as she hated being told what to do.

Trying not to overthink even more, she just tightened her grip and brought him closer, placing one hand in his back and the other in his head, which he'd burried in her chest. It seemed to work, because he didn't push her away. So she didn't move, and felt the tension in her shoulders release as she began to feel less agitated and more compassionate

Life really is full of surprises.
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He didn't remember falling asleep, but when he woke up, all of the water was gone and part of the Alpha pack symbol had been washed off the window.
-Hey. -He heard Carol's voice and turned to face her. "She is still here."  -I couldn't reach the top. -She chuckled, nodding towards the window. -Short people problems. Oh, and I borrowed your coffee machine; by the way, I thought you didn't like coffee.
-I don't, Cora does.
-Ah. That makes sense.
-Speaking of Cora, where is she?
-With Alice. They stayed at my house.
-And... You slept here?
-I didn't sleep, but yeah, I was here all night.
-Why didn't you sleep?
-There was too much on my mind.
-And how come I didn't hear you walking arround the apartament?
-You are a surprisingly heavy sleeper.
-Usually, I'm not.

Both of them were silent for a few seconds as she took a sip of her coffee and he replayed the events of the previous night in his mind. How she came back and stayed. How she'd been there.
-Thank you. -He broke the silence.
-Oh, it was nothing. I wasn't going to sleep anyway, so I thought it would be productive to spend my time fixing this mess. -She said, assuming he'd meant about the loft.
-That's not what I meant.

She smiled sadly at him before looking down.
-You're welcome.
-I thought you were mad at me.
-I was.
-Then why did you stay?
-Because we may not always be friendly towards each other, but we are friends. We see life from very different perspectives, but one thing I learned in this whole supernatural mess is that friendship, real friendship is about how much are you willing to do the other person when it actually matters. And I think you and I have both proven that we're willing to do a lot for each other. For example, you saved me from Victoria, and I tried to stop Scott from making you bite Gerard that night. -She was looking at him again, straight into his eyes. There was something of dizzying in the way their gazes were locked (with something that, wasn't anger, for a change).
-Yeah... I guess you're right. And, well... I did watch three stupid horror movies for you. -He joked.
-Hey, "The Exorcist" is a classic!
-It's still dumb.
-No, it's not! Also, "The Silence of the Lambs" is my favorite movie, and the Hannibal franchise isn't even horror, it's thriller.
-Whatever, the guy's literally eating a brain.
-Ok, then, if we're going that way, I kneeled down on dirty water with these Stella McCartney jeans for you.
-...Fair enough.

More silence; not weird, but not exactly comfortable either.
-So...
-Carolinne, I... I'm sorry for exploding like that when you told us about the wolfsbane thing.
-It's fine.
-I just wanted you to be safe.
-I know. And I'm sorry for not understanding that. So we're good?
-I guess.
-How about a Peace Treaty? Next time we disagree on something, we'll try to reason with each other in a civilized way instead of "fighting like toddlers" as Jackson described. Deal? -She extended her hand, and after considering it for a few seconds, he took it.
-Deal. Oh, and one more thing.
-What?
-Next time, it's my turn?
-Your turn to do what?
-Pick the movie.

She smiled shyly at that, trying not to let her heart race at the mention of a next time. "He's just being friendly, you idiot. He's dating your English teacher. A woman who's actually his age and who's never been at war with him.".
-Ok, sounds fair. -She agreed, shaking his hand like a polititian and letting it go as her smile faded away. -I'll see you arround.
-See you.

She left the loft feeling for the first time like she'd won a battle and lost another. They'd reestablished their friendship. But she'd lost his heart.