Carl Grimes One Shots (carl x reader)

Bitten. "Honor" S8 E9

But when the voices stop, I look in his eyes. "Y/N," he says breathlessly. 

"Yeah?" I manage to get out, my voice breaking. 

Michonne and Rick had hugged and kissed Carl, saying their final goodbyes, and then left us two alone for the last few minutes. I can't believe these are the last few minutes with my absolute love... Carl... I start to think of all the good times we had had together. Hunting in the woods, taking walks, going on runs, playing pranks on each other, cuddling at night, making each other laugh...

Carl squeezes my hand. "Don't," he says. "Don't cry. Don't cry for me. You have to be strong, okay? I'm always going to be with you, you know that right?"

I nod, unable to speak or I would break down completely. Teardrops fall onto Carl's hand and I wipe my eyes with my free hand. "I love you," I whisper. 

"I love you too, Y/N. So much. I didn't beat this world. But you will. I promise. Stay strong for me, okay?"

I can't take it anymore and start sobbing and wrap my arms gently around him with my head in the crook of his shoulder. I can hear his sniffles, too, as he hugs me and kisses my head. I lift up from him and place one last soft, gentle kiss on his lips. Something I'll never be able to do again. I don't want to leave him- I never want to leave him- but I know I have to. He's suffering and I can't make him stay in this world just because I want him to. This is a shitty world and he was put in a shitty situation and even though it sucks, it's the way it is. I have to let him go. 

"I love you, Carl. Do you want me to stay with you?"

He shakes his head and grabs the gun next to him. "No. I need to be alone, I can't let you watch that. I love you."

I nod understandingly and give him one last hug before standing up and wiping my eyes to rid the tears and see him clearly. He smiles at me and I force one back. When I leave the church I can't hide my emotions anymore and I start sobbing loudly. Michonne and Rick both wrap me in a hug and we all stand there like that until a gunshot sounds. This makes all of us even more sad and hurt and we know we don't want to do anything except mourn, but we also know we have to keep going... keep moving. I have to stay strong for Carl. 

After the fires have stopped and Carl was buried, I sit in front of his grave and stare with red eyes at the piece of wood with his name engraved in it. My fingers pick at the grass as I'm deep in thought. At least I'm not crying, but I genuinely don't think I have enough tears for that anymore anyway. 

"Hey," a voice behind me says, making me jump. I turn around to see Rick, and then turn back towards the grave.

"Hey," I mutter. 

Rick sighs as he kneels in the grass next to me. I hear crinkling so I turn towards him and see he's holding a piece of paper. "Here," Rick says, handing it out to me. "Carl wrote one for each of us." It looks like he wants to say more but can't find the words. 

"Thank you," I say. As Rick walks away I stare at the folded letter. How the hell am I gonna read this? I won't make it past one line before breaking down again. 

I gingerly open the letter, not wanting to rip it one bit. I need to keep this exactly how Carl had had it. At the first word, my name, I have to bite my cheek so I don't start sobbing. 

Y/N, 

I love you! That had to be written first. It's late at night and I'm watching you sleep peacefully. I'll miss these nights. And all of our days together, too. But please don't cry, I hate seeing you so sad and I won't be able to comfort you anymore. I just want you to be safe. I've been trying to keep you safe since the day I met you, I never wanted anything bad to happen to you. 

Judith loves you, too, and I'm not worried about her because I know you'll take great care of her, especially when Dad and Michonne aren't in Alexandria. I trust you with my life. Well, the life that I had. 

I smile at that part, almost hearing Carl's sarcasm as he jokes about his own death. 

I want to tell you that I wrote to Negan. Telling him to stop this war. I don't know if he'll listen or not, but it's the least I could do. It's not fair to you, or Dad, or anyone in Alexandria. I also told Dad to try to find peace with Negan.

I  just want everything to be peaceful and for you to live safely for the rest of your life. I don't want you worrying everyday about me or about the safety of our family. And even though I'll miss you and I love you more than anything, I better not see you for a very long time after I'm gone... Live a long, happy life for me.

Thank you for being the best thing that has ever happened to me.

I love you, Y/N, so much. 

- Carl