Twin Flames (Ashtray x fem! Reader)

001 ♥︎

★★★★★

August 30th, 2006.
( p.s. that's my birthday. which is today :> )
You'd think this would be an amazing day for the "beloved" parents of y/n.
I'd like to think so, but unfortunately...

it wasn't.

Y/n's household wasn't very...stable, let's just say stable.

Her mother was an alcoholic, her father was a heavy drug user. Both cheated on one another, even infront on eachother. Not like they cared, they always seemed to just stay together. They never really paid any attention to her. She'd cry for hours uncared for, no one to love her.

Her mother and Father both shared one thing that kept their marriage together, the hate for their daughter. Her mother thought she was too wide, too thin, too short, too tall, too much like her. She hated knowing she created her. They always talked low of
y/n to everyone.

"I wish I never had a kid. She's hideous, so fucking fat. I should have thrown her in the dumpster when I had the chance."

"You're just like your mother. Ugly, useless, and a fucking whore."

Y/n loved her parents, even if they would never love her back. She hated being alone, but she always seemed to find herself that way. No one to turn too, cry to, go to, nothing.

She knew it was her fault, everything was her fault. She was the reason her parents fell out of love, she was the reason they always fought, she was the reason her mom drank til she couldn't open her eyes. She was treated as a burden, even though she never asked to be born. If she knew the damage she would cause, she would have just been better off dead.
But no matter how she felt, her feelings didn't matter.

As long as everyone is happy, she's happy.

When she was 5, her mother passed away from overdose on morphine. It caused her father to go into a deep depression. Maybe he would beat her mother, maybe he would say he'll kill her if she leaves him, but he knew loved her. He knew he did since they first met at the pub, he was just too high to be in-control of his actions.

Y/n would do everything for her father. Clean for him, cook for him, care for him. She knew she owed him nothing, he didn't care about her. He treated her like shit, but she had a heart of gold. She loved her father, even if he hated her to death, she knew she loved him with all her little heart.

——

She soon got a job delivering mail to everyone's door, trying to pay off all the overdue bills. She was doing well for her age. An okay job, an okay paycheck, a positive mindset. She was only 9, but she felt older. She felt like a grown woman trapped in a child's body.

The girl was ready to grow up. She had her whole life planned out. She wanted 2 kids, a husband or a wife, she was still thinking about what she liked more, and 3 dogs. Daisy, Bubbles, and Peach. Her favorite things in the world. She dreamed for hours of her being a model, on the cover of every magazine. At one point she wanted to be a singer, but that dream ended realizing you need so many things for that. But with modeling you didn't, all you needed was you.
She knew that's what she wanted. To be accepted as herself.

——

When she was 11, she came home late after delivering her last set of newspapers to a nursing home. She went straight to the kitchen to make dinner for her and her father.

"I'm sorry daddy, I didn't realize that I would come home so late. I'm making your favorite tonight... Daddy?" She walked to her father's bedroom, it was pitch black. "Daddy?" she called out. She reached for the light switch.

Her father laid there, not breathing, not sleeping, not smoking, but he was just laying there. Knife in hand, a couple of percs on the nightstand. It was a sight no child should have to wittiness at this age. Especially it being one of their parents.

She didn't cry. She didn't even have a shocked look on her face. It was like y/n knew this day would come, just hopping it wasn't so soon. She wouldn't have minded if it happen when she was able to live and provide on her own. Legally at least.

She ran away that night, no place to stay. No place to call home. As she packed her things, she took her father's drugs from the cup cabinet, and his money stash that he thought she never knew about. She knew it would be best if she didn't get help. Her father would want that.

——

Walking for maybe an hour, she got stopped by a man. Or boy, he looked like a boy with a beard but a man at the same time. He had a ginger short beard, a buzz cut, probably 5,8, with blueish eyes.

"Yo, why you just like walking around at like 2 in the fucking morning? Where you going lil homie?"

★★★★★