minho has an eating disorder.
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"that's a bmi of 17.6", the woman announced, the worried look on her face couldn't conceal her obvious pride about minhos weight loss. "I mean, wow".
minho only shakily exhaled. his stomach twisted, he was lightheaded...
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something was off. for sure.
minhos mind, which was usually clogged with comebacks, music and dancing, was starting to think about only one single thing;
food.
well, also working out and numbers, especially weight. he started thinking about food so much, it started to become ridiculous. while he was eating his first meal, minho already thought about what his next one could possibly be. or not. while eating an apple, he thought about how nice it would be to eat his favourite chocolate smartie bar again. but he didn't, of course.
his mind was constantly clouded by either hunger, food or guilt. there was no space to think about anything else.
but the thought of wanting to lose weight, which was basically in his head all day, made minho so hungry. he wanted to lose weight so badly, that it just made him want to eat.
and on nights like this, when minho found himself eating ramen package after package and chocolate bar after chocolate bar, the tiny voice in his head finally seemed to shut up.
just for a moment though, until the realisation of what happened finally hit and minho ended up tip toeing to the bathroom, locking the door and shoving his fingers so far up his throat that he almost choked himself.
the fact that nobody had noticed still baffled him. but it was good, that meant that he was safe - there was nobody to stop him.
minho wasn't someone that liked to talk about his feelings anyway. he was one of the oldest members of the group, he should be strong enough for his younger members, strong enough that he didn't need to talk about his feelings to anyone.
it was better if they didn't know.
—
with the majority of the comeback stages and shows being over now, the stress slowly but steadily began to calm down in the group.
they had shows every now and then or photoshoots once a week or so, but all in all, it was much quieter ever since their first comeback stage.
which gave minho loads of time to think about everything.
some days it felt better. some days, he could simply just eat breakfast with the other members and worry about nothing else but win the silly game jisung started to play with them. some days, he couldn't help but read every single comment on twitter about him, look at men he could only dream to look like and then get so frustrated that he ate everything in sight, just to barf it all up again.
