HAYAATS POV
After sadeeq left I decided to indulge him a bit. I had written my waec and it didn't seem like admission list would be released soon. I didn't want boredom to be the end of me so I found a new hobby. Talking to sadeeq .what's the worst that could happen anyway?
He was funny not because he was actually funny . His sense of humor was terrible,he didn't understand sarcasm nor got any of my jokes. Maybe mostly because it was dark humor. strangely I liked that about him. And the cutest thing about this all was that he had to hide to talk to me. The danger if he was caught sounded appealing to me. It was like a real life thriller. I loved it . Of course I didn't want him to get caught but my life was exciting and I liked every moment of it.
My waec and jamb result came out and Alhamdulillah I passed with flying colors. I got admission into the University of Maiduguri to study physiotherapy and everything was going well.
Sadeeq was more than just a friend to me .I liked him like ...like, like ,like. He was like my best friend. I would spend hours talking to him and we would always warn each other not to fall in love . "That shouldn't be a problem on my part" I always said . I don't do love sadeeq it's a waste of ....Before I would end my sentence he would finish it for me. Everything was perfect until......
Mom and I went shopping weeks before my resumption and dad drove me to the airport. It felt sad leaving home. I always loved adventure and I was hellbent on making this new phase of my life interesting. It was scary and at the same time exciting. I felt like Jo in little women. Jo was my role model. Such bravery as she left love to pursue her dreams. Too bad she came back home feeling lonely in the end. But sadeeq was my best friend we wouldn't split up like jo and Laurie, because sadeeq wouldn't make the stupid mistake of asking me out. There was a sigh of relief as the thought crossed my mind a tiny bit of disappointment too.
Sadeeq and I were so cool ,he called me every morning and night .I would wake up every morning to his text message and a thousand messages online. He always sent me random messages all the time. I wasn't the sentimental type so I would just thank him for the message and ignore him. If I didn't know better I would say sadeeq had fallen in love with me.
The first time he came to see me in school was after my lectures . He phoned me and told me he sent a package for me and his cousin would deliver it to me. I told his cousin to meet me at my lecture hall since he was also a student there. He pretty much had an idea of the school environment. But to my surprise I came out of my lectures and saw sadeeq. It was the cutest thing I had ever seen. He had this shy look of his and I just kept smiling . It turned out sadeeq came all the way from Kano just to surprise me and I was happy . I missed bullying him and making fun of him. we were talking endlessly and my mouth was running like a broken record until sadeeq hit me with the "will you be my girlfriend" question. I swear, the silence that followed was endless . If a pin had dropped then and there it would have sounded like a rock hitting a concrete." You don't have to reply Hayaat" he said and for a moment I felt relieved but I knew I had to reply some day and I was certain my answer would break sadeeqs heart.
He escorted me back to my hostel . And told me he would be going back the next day.We said our goodbyes and I went to my room.
I didn't sleep that night ,sadeeq liked me with my weird hobbies and strange way of looking at life. I loved having him in my life but I have never even once imagined myself as being in love. I don't know what love feels like but I know I refuse to let my self feel it. There was something about people ,the moment you love them they would leave you. I remember my childhood bestie who threw my shoe in the field and let me look for it for hours and didn't tell me where she hid it and let me walk home with no shoes. I was 8 then but the betrayal is still fresh like out of the oven cake in my brain. But sadeeq was different. He made me happy and didn't take me for granted.
