Pricked

16

"I need a volunteer." The newest carnies say simultaneously. Each of their moves were in sync, from their right knee jutted out, to the crooked smirk on their faces. Then without looking at one another they pointed at one person. Three perfectly manicured nails, three devious smiles, three witches point at me. I try to make myself small and disappear, oh how I want to disappear, but everyone stares at me and Mitch awaiting for the entertainment to continue. Mitch puts a hand on my knee and maneuvers to look me in the eyes. I keep my head down, my eyes moved up to Mitch's deep green eyes, so gentle and protective.

"I'm gonna go up for you, okay Har?" I nod rapidly, being a thief means being invisible. And being invisible means not going up on stage, my eyes followed Mitch as he jumped over the first row of people. Especially since we snuck into the show, what if they knew and-

"Her," they say, fingers still pointing at me. Their voices are demanding and boom throughout the tent.

"No," Mitch says not as loudly as them, but just as effective. "Me." The three witches look at each other and nod once in agreement and shove Mitch into the chair that appeared while I was hiding from their gaze. He gives me a smile, a bold wonderful smile. I see his eyes scanning the crowd making sure I was safe. He is always making sure I am safe. He would always be there for me, at least I hope so.

"No one wants to deal with you... Kalani?" Dr. Arren says when he returns from the circus fair. "Dr. Matthews and his assistant, Cory agreed that it is highly unlikely that anyone would have been able to help guide a soul back to the body anyway. So, I'm going to stick with medicine for now. I hope that's alright... Lena? No, that's not right either..."

His name game is ridiculous, he will never guess a name as awful as mine and even if he does he will think it is wrong, and I won't be able to tell him otherwise. He pulls out the chair from the corner of the room dragging it along the scratched, beaten floor.

"Besides" Arren continued, "she wanted an insane amount of money just to talk to you." He chuckled to himself. "I told her you can't talk or move or do anything and her price went up. She then claimed to be a mind reader."

"What a joke." Mathews laughs open mouthed as he runs a hand through his wavy hair.

"I can't believe we even went to see..." Arren holds his words, his mind trailing away and gazes into the big blue grey world outside the window. If I were here, really here, I would hold his hand and tell him everything will get better, because it can't possibly keep getting worse, can it? Disappointment paints his face like a sad clown. Matthews and Cory head to leave and they exchange farewells.

Arren checks my vitals as usual, then sets up the fluids and reads me story. Normally I won't sit still for stories such as these make believe fantasy nonsense but, I have nothing better to do and he's the only that talks to me, so I sit and I listen.

Today he brought his Bible, as he starts and I question my decision to stay. I'm not much for church lately and now in my condition I couldn't go even if I wanted to. Arren must believe though and thinks that God will hear him and help him to help me.

"Adam and Eve said, 'Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you anymore. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us."

That was prefect I say leaning over to his book, it is not the bible but it is biblical stories that have been interpreted by regular people, not biblical folk.

"Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day."

He kept me alive and fed. I suppose, stealing and not getting caught was a gift but I don't think it was a gift from God. And mitch walked with me through this pain, not him. He wasn't there, mitch was... but now mitch isn't here either.

"Now we do not see you anymore."

Were you ever here? Others believe in you and pray to you but you never listen when I asked for you to bring my mother back and my father too. You weren't there for me then, why would you be here for me now? I realize I'm no longer talking about God but talking to God.

"Well?" I call out, "if you can hear me... you stuck! You could fix this, you could fix me!" Is it considered praying if all I'm doing is screaming at the ceiling?

"Now we do not see you anymore."

"I could never see you because if I did see you then I would have hope for the future, my future." I move to the next line trying to get through my thoughts before I explode and servant have to clean my guts off the room of the already dirty floor.

"We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us."

I let out a breath and read it again.

"We are lonesome here."

I'm all alone, and no one knows how to fix me or even if I am fixable. I'm all alone.

"It is difficult for us to remember how much you love us."

No words come to mind because it is difficult to remember a time when he actually did care for us, for me.

"How much you love us."