Pricked

10

     I can't believe that this is my life.

I run through the palace and fall down the stairs 8 times, each time, each attempt causes no harm. I ram into the wall trying to cause pain to fell something but nothing happens. Then I try and throw myself out a window, a window. But as if it knows I can't get through any doors to get back in, my barricade stops at the window, all windows. I try and die, I attempt to trick death into taking me but it doesn't work.

"Are you there?" I scream out. "Can you hear my cries?" I look around but don't see anything that indicates that I'm not talking to anything but myself. "You screwed up and I can't do anything to fix your mistake." I see a maid halt where she walks and I rush to her. "Fix me! Please!" I beg falling to the floor, she just rubs at the small hole in her dress and continues onward. "Please" I bang my fists then head down on the dirty floor. She didn't see me, she didn't hear my cries, and she couldn't help what she didn't know was wrong.

"God?" I try and make myself seem needy and affectionate but all I feel is anger and a rush of pain. Pain. Pain. I jump up and hold out my hands and examine myself. Pain, I think again, I felt pain, real pain. I run through the hall until I reach my door and see Arren jabbing me. "That hurt!" I state as I approach him but my tone is giddy with excitement. "That hurt" I say again laughing.

Arren doesn't mention you know who and I can't be happier to go back to fairy tales and medical notes which is ridiculous because I am so sick and tired, of being sick and tired. I'm even sick of this now dull, but still painful pain radiating from my arm. All the doctor visits and everything, sick of it, yet the same routine somehow now calms me. All the stupid numbers and letters and... Change would have been nice. Anything new would have been nice but not something that brings back memories of something even more painful than my present cruse.

"She won't wake up, she's gonna be stuck like that forever and the sooner you people realize that the sooner you can put that girl out of her misery and we can all get on with our lives." Peter continued on the topic of me and my miserable non-life, but Arren being the knight in no armor always coming to my rescue.

"I'm going to try and help as best I can; I'm going to save her."

"No, no, no." I chase after them, my legs getting in my way, causing me to stumble as I try and beat them to the stairs. "Come back!" I yell down the halls as they pass my point of no return. "I can't go that far!" I yell and yell for Dr. Arren Greyson to come back but it is never any use, no one can hear me, no one ever hears me.

**********

I might be waiting an eternity when my problems keep running circles around me. An eternity alone. I used to like being alone. Being alone gave me time to think, to dream, to create a plan on what to take next, and how to take it. I never thought in all my years that I would no longer like to be alone. I wait for Arren or any doctor really, to come. To have someone give me attention and even though I can't talk to them, and they can't really see me, for that moment I am no longer alone. Just for that moment. I find that my time here in solitary makes me hate being alone but what I hated even more was feeling lonely. The alone I could stand for a while but now it's agonizing, watching Arren leave each and every day then not only am I alone but I am lonely again.

A maid passes and it reminds me that, that would have been me, if I didn't screw things up. I would have been working, cleaning, running the halls with my head down. She could have been a friend, if I was more social, but that's not how things work in the palace. You do your work and keep your personal life outside the palace, communication was a waste of precious cleaning time.